My first Mother's Day, my children are gone

[heartsorehelena]

DH mentioned 'you know this Sunday is your day'. I hadn't even thought about me, I was thinking of my own mum as usual. We lost our baby twins a few months ago.

How do we mark Mother's Day? He obviously wants to, but I don't think he knows how. We don't have any other kids.

I'm so sorry for your loss x

That's good that your DH is thinking of you in that respect - what would YOU like to do though?

So sorry for your loss x

Be kind to yourself and remember that you are a mum. Would you be able to mark the occasion? What feels right?

Thank you x

He saw a dad with tiny twins today and thought of me and Mother's Day... I don't know what we 'should' do (but I hate the word 'should'). I've never thought about what we might do ourselves. Another milestone, a bit unforeseen/ unimagined, that's all.

I don't know how we will mark it. A little bit of remembering, though it hurts. We have promised to keep remembering our darling children. I don't feel very strong right now so I suppose I'm dreading the occasion somehow.

There's no should, although bless your Dh for thinking about it and bringing it up with you. You don't have to do anything special, it happens every year and if you don't feel like making anything of it this year, you don't have to. If you just want to spend the day at home, do that. If it hurts to remember, then don't. There's nothing wrong with burying your head in the sand to protect yourself once in a while. It doesn't mean you love your babies any less x

I lost my dm 15 years ago. Mother's Day isn't my best day either but there's not a day that goes by when I don't think about her. I don't need a calendar or hallmark to tell me who I should be thinking about x

So sorry for the loss of your babies Could you plan time for the two of you to do something you enjoy, maybe away from the noise and crowds...a walk, a drive, picnic lunch if it is nice? Be gentle to yourself, you don't have to a thing if you don't want to..just be with each other and your thoughts and memories..((hugs))

Don't know what to suggest except whatever you feel like- don't feel under any pressure; I'm so very sorry, more than I can possibly say. Be kind to yourself. If you need to chat please do or PM one of us x

Sorry for the loss of your twins. I lost my first neonatally 2 years ago. We never did anything the first Mother's Day after we lost her. For me it was to painful.

Just do as much or as little as you want. Do not feel you have to do anything. The firsts of special dates are hard but it does get easier.

Take care.

Last year my DH bought me flowers, which I loved. This year I asked him not to. For some reason this year it's more painful than last year, even though most of the time it's easier.

I hope today is gentle for you & for all the other mums who can't be with their children