My lovely dad passed away 8 months ago on Father's Day and I am finding things so hard.
I miss him so much every day, but what's worse is mum, she's struggling so much.
They were married 58 years, and she is so lonely. I'm an only child so do as much as I can, but I'm struggling now.
She's not sleeping cos the jobs dad would've done are there ( window cleaning, gardening, fence fixing, gutters cleaning, car washing, fence painting)
My oh does as much as he can but he works full time, a very good friend of mine who is a handyman has just agreed to sort out gutters, windows, dripping tap etc and he is lovely and will do anything he can to help.
But it doesn't take away the fact that she's having to THINK about these things, and FIND ways of fixing them or rather I am cos she just breaks down and declares she can't cope
I'm so worried and upset, she's not coping, I can't do anymore, I'm disabled, she has copd but does things then almost collapses.
Wee have no other family anywhere near, so I feel constant pressure.
Thing is we have never been that close, she's always said and done things in the past that piss me off or upset me..
( when I was pregnant with Ds and I was saying I would struggle a bit cos of my disability she said I should get an abortion, never forgotten that)
I do a lot for her now but I know I'm doing more than I'd like, mostly cos I promised dad we would take care of her, but then again I do see her vulnerability, and want to look after her.
I don't know what I want from this, just had to write it down...
It's going to be a whole year without him soon and it's still not getting easier.