termination

[targaryen]

I had my daughter quite young and then met my now husband when I was on my own with my daughter.
I fell pregnant a few years into our relationship but I was studying for a degree and things just didn't feel right so against my partners wishes I had a termination.
myself and my partner are now married, own our home, both in decent paid jobs and have 2 more children.

I regret so much having a termination and would give anything to go back. Our child would of been 11 this month and I can't stop thinking about the what ifs
I don't know how to stop going over and over the decision I made.
I know it's not healthy and nothing is going to change the decision I made.

targaryen I am sorry you are feeling grief about this at the moment and I understand its a deeply personal issue. I do think its quite normal for some women who have had terminations to experience this kind of regret intermittently throughout the rest of their lives. The thing with grief is there is no one size fits all remedy, its something you learn in time to live with. It sounds like there is a lot of joy and love in your life and family and I hope that you can turn your focus on that and maybe that can alleviate some of the pain. The problem with hindsight is had you known where you'd be now, you might not have gone through with it, but at the time there was no real way of knowing. Its not unhealthy to grieve or to identify your regrets but its not good if they take over completely. Its a daily task of finding balance somehow, which is personal to you. I hope this is sort of helpful, i'm sure someone else might come along with more practical suggestions...