How does a 7 year old deal with bereavement?

[Mclary]

I'd really like to hear any thoughts or experiences to help my son through this. He's lost his Daddy, unexpectedly.
He seems ok, he's talking about him normally.
I think I will ask for professional help, but would appreciate any advice here.
Thank you

Didn't want to read and run. So sorry for your loss. It sounds as though your DS is coping really well at the moment. Don't be afraid to let him see you grieve. It is natural to feel sad and the last thing you want is for him to suppress his feelings. That is good for no one.

Also don't indulge him too much. If he has chores to do, make him do them. Keep your routines as much as possible. There is great comfort in familiar routines, both for him and for you. Unfortunately, life does go on after bereavement, however much you may wish it doesn't, and showing him that you do have to carry on is not a bad thing. You can be very, very sad, but you also have to KOKO.

I've kept him at school, they've been fantastic, so supportive. And he's still getting his homework and reading done.
There's been lots of family around and lots of talking about Daddy so that's good.
But family means he gets a bit hyper, so it's very hard to manage that.
I'm just worried about what's going on inside his little head.
He's asked questions and I've answered them as honestly as I can.

My DH died nearly a year ago, at which point my sons were 7 and 4. They both continued with school and all their activities as before. We do talk about their daddy, but my 7 year old has never asked many questions. He seems to have just accepted it... The little one has been far more chatty about it.
Difficult to know what the children are making of it all.
Sorry for your loss. Look after yourself!

not sure if this is any help, but my father died when I was (just) 8. I felt responsible for his death, and lots of things that adults said (unthinkingly, I'm sure) made this worse. Children are funny - just because they carry on, and play and laugh and mess about doesn't mean that they aren't dealing with things, or sad. And it's important to let them play, but also to give them space to be sad, to cry. I understood rationally, I think, but emotionally, it took me a long time - but there was no support and I don't think my mother was particularly helpful (or more likely, not able to be helpful). My grandma was great - would let me sleep in bed with her. I was very worried that something would happen to my remaining parent, and used to rehearse to myself what would happen - was trying to protect myself. Good luck

You may already know but www.winstonswish.org.uk is very supportive.

My mum died when I was 6. It was expected (long battle with cancer) so I had been gently prepared for the eventuality. I remember going to my talking doctor (childhood psychologist) and drawing pictures there. But generally I just got on with normal life and was very pragmatic about the whole thing.

Sorry for your loss, definitely ask for some professional help both for your son to process his feelings and some guidance for you on dealing with him.

I lost my twin brother Stephen more than 50 years ago. It was all so horribly mishandled that I can still hardly believe what, nominally sensible and caring, people did. Schools are much better at coping now thank goodness.

So sorry for your loss and DS loss. It's not quite the same but we recently lost my dmil at just 62, my dd is 7 and she initially didn't show much reaction after the initial crying.

However she has started to struggle and now crys at night and does not want to be away from us. I found winstons wish really useful, they have a great information sheet exactly on this type of bereavement. This allows you to gauge what is normal and how you can help.

My DDs school were invaluable they are a C of E school so may do things differently but, they allowed my dd to bring in a photo of her nan, this was made into a prayer stone, she is allowed to go to this when she needs to, the school also supplied many bereavement books but beware although useful I found some difficult to read because, of course we are all grieving too.

My dd was so close to her nanny and it really hurts to see her going through this.

I hope you all find a way through this, lots of cuddles, tears and memories.

My DH died when my son was 9 and my daughter 13, seven years ago. I also think routine is helpful and comforting and I believe it helped us. Both my kids went back to school and carried on with their normal routine, saw friends, went on holiday. They reacted quite differently, though. My daughter didn't like her Dad being mentioned (she has gradually got better with this) and used to take down his photos (again she has got better with this in time) and my son talked about his Dad more, and was more likely to get upset, but I felt at least he was expressing his feelings and I could talk to him and comfort him.

I think you should go with your gut instinct, (for example, my kids slept in my bed for a long time after their father died, it helped). However, it is really important to get support for yourself so that you can keep going, and have someone to talk to about how to go forward and any questions you have about your son. I offered my kids the chance to have some counselling but they have not taken it up, but that may come later.
www.merrywidow.me.uk is a really good website for support and talking to others in the same boat.

Thank you all for your thoughts and experiences
He seems to be perfectly ok
Kind and thoughtful towards me and his Gran.
I can't really articulate my words right now, just wanted to say thank you
X

Poor child cried and cried tonight

Said he can't think of any happy things about Daddy, when he thinks about him, he's just sad