Bereavement Counselling

[DorisIsALittleBitPartial]

I have posted here before regarding this. My DF died 3 years ago Wednesday, and it has been 12 years since DM died.
I've been on ADs since DF was diagnosed with terminal cancer and they have kept me on track ever since. Earlier this year I tried to cut down my dose too quickly and sunk like a stone.
My GP has referred me for bereavement counselling and also upped my AD dose so once again I am coasting. The assessment was today, they have agreed that I might benefit and have referred me to a counsellor. One of the questions I was asked was what I hope to achieve - and I didn't know how to answer. When I was on a lower dosage I felt real raw grief, but now I am kind of ok and coping.

Should I cut down on ADs so they can help me with that rawness? I can't face feeling that again but at the moment I'm really not sure if I will gain anything.
Your thoughts are welcome

Well, to answer the question - I'd have thought you were aiming to resolve the grief, or perhaps reduce it to a level that doesn't take over your life and mean you have to be on medication just to get through the day.

I wouldn't cut the ADs without advice from your Dr, tbh.
When you get to the counselling sessions, you can explain that the ADs are keeping you on an even keel at the moment, and see what they suggest.

You don't have to feel 'raw' to gain from counselling.

Hello BackforGood, thank you for your reply. I thought I had answered your message then took the dog out and when I came back it hadn't sent, but your post made me think a lot while I was out. Basically, I told the assessor what I posted here, and she accepted that. It was after I left that the question kept bugging me.
Of course I want to resolve the grief, but that seems such an impossible task, for me anyway. I don't know if grief can ever be fully resolved, there is too much involved in making that happen.

But I did come to a conclusion while I was out. I went to the crem this week. And I stared at a patch of grass where my parents ashes were scattered and I felt completely disconnected. I didn't want to see a patch of grass, I wanted to see them. I think that is my answer, what I need to resolve. I need to accept that they have gone and that I will never see them again. I don't know how that is ever possible though.