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Bereavement

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Not coping

2 replies

Margie32 · 13/10/2014 20:48

Please can you tell me that I'm not going crazy and my behaviour is somewhere close to normal?

My beautiful wonderful Mum died last November at 61 after fighting ovarian cancer for nearly 3 years. During that time she lost her younger sister, my beloved aunt, to a heart attack. So we went from being a happy, complete family to being broken and devastated by their deaths.

I was with my Mum when she died and I thought I was coping ok. But yesterday it was my birthday, the first one without Mum. I was really dreading it and proceeded to have loads of booze at lunch which led to me making a total fool of myself in front of my in-laws and then having a ridiculous fight with my DH in front of my 3 year old DS. Not proud.

She is everywhere I go and everything I think about. All I want in this world is to see her and talk to her and have her here again. It isn't getting easier with time - if anything it's getting worse. I find it almost impossible to feel joyful about anything and I want to know if this will ever end, will I ever be able to take pleasure in anything again?

OP posts:
golemmings · 13/10/2014 21:32

Hi,

Didn't want to read and run. I lost my mum almost 3 years ago. Firsts are always hard. First Christmas, first birthdays without her for everyone you're close to...

A year isn't long in the grieving process so you're not going crazy. It will get easier. In time you will be able to create a new normal but just not yet. And that's OK. Nobody says it has to be done in the first year. There are no time limits on any of it.

Just be kind to yourself and do what you need to do. Some people find Cruse very helpful to talk to just to confirm that their grieving process is normal. Everybody grieves differently. Don't let anyone tell you how to feel.

x

twentyten · 13/10/2014 21:38

So sorry. This is hard but you will get through. Please seek some brereavement counselling. Speak to your gp - pleaseThanks

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