Lost my darling mum on Tuesday

[Merriboo]

I don't know how to be without my best friend. My mum and I were so close, texted and spoke every day, shared everything. She fell ill a few weeks ago and was in the process of being diagnosed with lung cancer, so bad as that was I could kind of make peace with having some time to spend together but she deteriorated quite suddenly and I feel cheated that it was snatched away from us.

I'm so sorry Merriboo, and I know that nothing will ease the pain at the moment.

In time I hope you will get some comfort from your close relationship, and also the fact she didn't suffer to too long.

RIP Merriboo's DM.

I am so sorry. Lost my Mum 18 years ago its horrific, be thankful that you were so close and spoke all the time. Not everyone is so lucky to have a wonderful Mum. I did and so did you.

Oh Merriboo i am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my mum nearly two years ago, two weeks after her lung cancer diagnosis, and I am slowly finding some comfort in knowing that she didn't suffer for long. Your mum was loved by you and she knew that, and that is so important.
Be kind to yourself, sending you my deepest sympathies x

Thanks all. I know one day I will be grateful she wasn't an invalid for long - she would have hated that, right now I just feel bit cheated that she was snatched away too soon.

I'm so sorry.
Better for her not to suffer for too long but definitely harder for you x

I'm very sorry *Merriboo"

I lost my mum almost three years ago now. She died about six weeks after her cancer diagnosis.

It's such a hard, hard thing to live with. And you are in the very early stages. Please be gentle on yourself

Having been so close to your Mum there will be so many little moments that you will miss just now but I'm sure that in the years to come that closeness and the knowledge that she didn't suffer for a long time will bring you so much comfort.

I too lost my Mum very suddenly. We were very close and in the early days every time something funny happened or one of the dc's said something she would have laughed at or I saw something she would like I would think "I must tell Mum that" and be heartbroken over again that I couldn't. Several times I dialled her number and then "remembered" but, two years on, I am beginning to remember the thing we did together without feeling upset. I find myself saying things she would have said and I know she will always be with me. I miss her but can be glad that she went quickly and didn't suffer. It would have been her choice.

It's early days for you so take care of yourself and seek help from others if you need it.

I am very sorry that your darling mother has gone. I lost my mother 2 weeks ago to the same disease and I feel utterly robbed and full of anger as well as so so sad. She also deteriorated extremely quickly. I keep thinking it can't be true and that none of it has actually happened.

Look after yourself, my heart goes out to you and your family. Reading your post it seems very clear to me that you had a wonderful relationship and your mother will have known how much she was loved x

Hi 3littlerabbits
Thank you and I'm so sorry for your loss of your mum and that you are going through this too.
You described my feelings perfectly.
I feel a bit numb today, now the funeral is over its quieter and feels quite surreal and wrong

Thanks Eva50 Grokette and inkle

I am just so very sorry.

I lost my dad to lung cancer 3 years ago, but he survived for 6 months from his diagnosis. But it wasn't a good 6 months and I sometimes think he shouldn't have put himself through the treatment which was very gruelling.

But it must be a terrible shock for you. I hope you have lots of real life care and support .

Very sorry Merriboo
Mine has terminal cancer but seems to be holding her own at the moment. I know what you mean about trying to enjoy spending whatever little time you have left together.

I lost my wonderful mum on Tuesday, after a 2 yr battle with cancer. I sit here surrounded by sympathy cards.
First time I've ever looked at this section of mn.
I can't get the image of her sedated and bearly breathing out of my head, I don't want to remember my best friend that way. I'm glad I got the opportunity to sit with her for those horrific last three days because she'd have wanted that, but I almost don't really believe she's actually dead, even though I saw her.

I often wonder which is worst. A slowly lost battle with cancer with an ever-worsening quality of life or a short sharp death when our loved one doesn't have to suffer for long?

I am so very sorry to hear you have lost you lovely mum.
I lost mine to cancer 2 years ago. She was truly my best friend but I am now tormented with guilt because she became suddenly very ill and was put on a life support machine. Because my dad fell apart, I took on the role of decision-maker and made the ultimate decision of switching the machine off. We were told she would slip away within an hour or so......5 weeks later she died after a horrendous struggle, fading away before our eyes. It was utterly heartbreaking and devastating.
But...during that time, there was a very brief moment where she appeared to recognise me. I was massaging her scalp and singing and crying along to one her favourite songs on the radio and I looked into her eyes and told her I love her. She focused on me and I'm sure she said I love you too. It is a memory I cherish now.
For the rest of my life I will regret that decision to turn off her life support.