very strange encounter with the funeral director ....

[Jemima1988]

my dad passed away in June but due to probate issue I only went to pay the funeral off yesterday.

my bf and I stood at reception to pay and was told to take a seat and wait for the ashes. The funeral director came out handed over the ashes then took us into a small office.

It was here I started to feel uncomfortable, only because he sat us down asked how we were and if everything went OK, this was a 2 min discussion which was defo not needed to be done in private.

only when we got outside did my bf say I think he was waiting for a tip ?!? it makes sense why he would take us in a separate room from the reception and it explains the awkwardness but it hadn't even crossed my mind. is this the norm?? do people tip funeral directors?? I feel like I should post a thank you card with something in

xx

Weird. I don't have enough experience of funerals to know if tips are normal, but I've never heard of such a thing. They are expensive enough already!

My guess would have been that something else needed to happen in the reception area that they didn't want you to see. Maybe there's roadworks blocking the back entrance so they had to cart a body-bag through reception?

Never heard of tipping funeral directors. He probably was just being sensitive. For you it was a 2 minute conversation but for someone else it may have been more prolonged. If you had started crying or has a complaint you would have appreciated the privacy no?

Sorry about your dad

In my limited experience, taking you into a private room sounds normal. And asking you how you're doing just good customer care.

I wouldn't dream of tipping a funeral director unless they'd done something above and beyond. We paid plenty for a very simple service, and looking at the non-specialist items it was clear they were making good margins on them.

Sorry for your loss.

Maybe he thought you might not be ok and that privacy could be needed? He had just given you the ashes? Could be potentially upsetting

Look at it this way. AIBU to think the funeral director could've found somewhere more private than a reception to ask if I was ok after handing over my DF ashes?!

I would think that they thought you'd like to talk in private or what the poster above said re body. Im sure it wasn't for a tip.

I am sure he would not have been expecting a tip. I think many people might be offended to have their loved one's ashes handed over in public in reception like a parcel to pick up and so they have developed a practice of doing this in private. Some people might want to debrief on the funeral or have this as the moment that the finality hits them.

Yes I think you are all probably right. when I think about it I am 8 and a half months pregnant so he might haven't taken me to the private room to make sure they didn't have a heavily pregnant woman breakdown in reception! very glad we cleared the tip up though I felt I paid a lot for the funeral I would have no idea how much a suitable tip would be xx

I went to pick up my dads ashes yesterday and was taken into a private room to sign for them. Wholly appropriate and in keeping with the way the funeral directors had handled the whole funeral.