Friends' son's birthday

[Redtartanshoes]

Work colleague/friend lost her teenaged son at the beginning of the year in tragic circumstances, she's still devastated by it, and struggles daily (understandably) . It's his birthday soon, I'd like to do something for her but don't know what's appropriate.

Any help would be appreciated.

If it was me, and it's really hard to imagine, but I think I would like a card from you, acknowledging the day and the circumstances.
If you knew the boy then perhaps you can choose something that he would appreciate, for example, my son is a massive golfer so I would love it if someone said that they put just a small bunch of flowers on the 18th green or tee, in his memory.
I think verbally acknowledging the day and therefore her additional pain Is important and offering a shoulder to cry on.

As long as she knows you are thinking of her that might be enough. I hate it when people go out of their way to avoid you in these circumstances even if it is just because they don't know what to do or say. Speak to her about it and see if there's anything in particular that she would like. The idea in mckenzies post sounds a nice gesture.
Will she need some company on the day or does she have other family?
You sound like a great friend.

Maybe not a happy birthday card but a general card expressing that you know it's his birthday and you wanted her to know that you were thinking of him and her on his birthday, and something along the lines of what Mckenzie said. I would be dreadfully upset if anyone forgot my dd's birthday.

flowers

I lost my DS2 aged 21 last year and on his first birthday it was awful that some people didn't remember him.

Just send her a card (not a birthday card obviously), text, call her..... anything that lets her know you've remembered him. Say his name.

Some people took flowers to his grave, bottles of beer, funny little tokens. I made his birthday cake and left it there too.

Lily, so sorry to hear about your loss.

Thank you. I only said about my DS so that it validated my opinion.

Just re-read that, and it sounded really ungracious. Sorry. I think that I what I was trying to say (and said really badly) was that from my point of view what the OP was wanting to do was a very lovely, caring and supportive gesture, and that I thought it would be really well received.

Lily, please don't worry. Your post must have been very difficult to write as it is. I'm sure OP understands. Thank you for taking the trouble to share.