ERPC was a complete disaster I'm not sure if I can cope with another

[Nicki10]

Today I had my ERPC after a missed miscarriage. I found out at 9 weeks that the baby had stopped growing between 5/6 weeks.

I went into hospital today for the operation and as soon as I came out they woke me up to tell me that it had been unsuccessful. They couldn't get any retained products so I have to have another scan next friday and then they will book me in for another one.

I am so upset about the whole thing, first because of the miscarriage and second because I feel my body has failed me so badly. I just feel like my body couldn't keep the baby alive, then it failed to get rid of it on it's own and now it won't let anyone else take it.

I still feel I can't do anyhing normal until it's all gone I don't like taking pain killers and I won't dfrink or eat any nuts, silly things because the baby isn't even alive anymore but I just don't want to hurt it.

I feel like I'm stuck in a void where I just can't move on. Sorry for going on.

[jamiesam]

Nicki, I'm so sorry you're going through this.

I had a missed m/c with my first pg and felt exactly the way you do, about my body having let me down by not keeping my baby alive and not letting me know that the baby had died. I think it's because no one can ever explain to you why your baby died. It awful, but you just need lots of time to come to terms with that. And you will learn to trust your body again.

In the meantime, I can only send lots of love to help you over the next week or so. I also found that I couldn't start to grieve until the whole m/c was over, because I couldn't help myself from stupidly thinking that there was hope....

[Uki]

Oh Nicki

sorry you feel so bad, and op was unsuccessful.
Did they say why, sounds strange to me.

Your body will take it's course naturally, my m/c last month showed the baby had died at 7 weeks, but i didn't start misscarrying till 12. I had the option of having a D&c. My obstetrician said that the cut off/necessary point for having a D&C was 7 weeks and as i was on the boardline i could have one or not, but as i was already bleeding, i thought natural was best, and i'm glad i did let my body do it's own natural thing.
i have to go will reply more later

[Nicki10]

They said that often with missed miscarriages they are really stuck to the walls of the womb so it's hard to find and get out. Just upset as everyone told us the risks but this was never one of them. I had no idea that the operation could possibly be unsuccessful.

[andi0411]

Hi Nicki- I have posted to you on another thread but i just wanted to let you know i was thinking about you.

I had no idea d and c's could be unsuccessful either- it's not something I've heard of. Instaed of another op is there the option to have the tablet induced m/c- is that somethng you'd consider at this point? if not then could you ring the ward and maybe re-assure yourself that this won't happen/ hasn't happened again to someone- express your fears. HTH- i'm sure it hasn't but i hope it has. x

[candygirl]

hi nicki ,so sorry to hear wot your going through.i have had 6 d&c and never knew or was told there was a chance of it not being successful (obviously i was very lucky). i also no wot u mean about your body letting you down,well not just my body but just me . i was crying asking everyone why am i such a usless piece of s*!t,i just felt like i let myself and dh & dd down so much.i hope things are sorted for you soon so you can move on to the next stage of emotionly helping yourself to recover and come to terms with all you have been through.take care !