Now I understand closure

[PuddingandPie1]

For ages I though that closure was a fairly meaningless jargon word. It certainly wasn't a word that I would ever have used myself. But this last week I think I found out what it means.

I was visiting my twins grave, 50 years after he died. When I turned away to start the long trip home I felt closure. That part of my life, that duty, that obligation I had felt was over. Somehow I knew that I wouldn't make that trip again but far more important I knew that it didn't matter. The demons of survivor guilt, sibling death and separation from your twin had been laid to rest. In the past, gone for good.

That is what closure means.

I am glad that you have found some closure but I am sorry that it has taken so long to reach.

I would imagine that survivor guilt is huge, especially for a twin. My eldest son at 18 years old has recently died from cancer. I feel guilt for not having it, for surviving him. My youngest son is just about to be 17. I hope that he does not feel the same guilt for the rest of his life. I am sure that it is inevitable for part of that time though.

I hope you continue to feel some peace.