Some of you may know parts of my story already. She is my first baby. At my 20 week scan we were told that our baby girl had a condition that was incompatible with life. This was not officially confirmed until I was 24 weeks pregnant. Living in Northern Ireland we had no option but to continue with the pregnancy knowing that our daughter, if she was born alive, would not survive for very long. We also knew that due to her condition, her heart could potentially stop at any time.
Over the last few weeks I developed polyhydramnios, a build up of amniotic fluid caused by my daughter no longer being able to swallow. I blew up like a balloon! I really was massive! Then on Monday morning (I was 34 weeks pregnant) I woke up and felt a warm feeling, to be honest I thought I had peed myself! I went to the toilet but the water did not stop. I was pretty sure then that my waters had gone. I woke my husband and we headed over to the admissions unit at my hospital. They confirmed that my waters had gone but also that there was no heartbeat.
We were sent home to get a good breakfast and get prepared and then headed back to the hospital to be induced. This started at 12noon and by 8.53pm my daughter had been born. She weighed only 3 pounds. She had a head full of thick jet black hair. We spent the might with her and then they took her away on Tuesday and I was discharged from hospital.
The funeral was yesterday. It was beautiful. As we buried her I could hear birds chirping and singing in the trees.
My heart is shattered into a million pieces but I do feel relieved that this ordeal is finally over and now we can grieve properly.
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Bereavement
My little angel
TheBabyFacedAssassin · 30/05/2014 06:29
So sorry, RIP little Katy. 
So utterly wrong that NI still doesn't have the courage to face the realities of life and makes impossible situations harder still.
Be kind to yourself Babyfaced.
I'm so sorry for your loss BabyFaced. 
I have thought of you and your little girl nearly every day since reading your posts a wee while ago.
What you have been through is an absolute atrocity, and all those in Stormont should hang their heads in shame. They are at fault for what has happened here.
But right now is the time to remember your precious little angel. What a beautiful name, Katy. She was so lucky to have such a wonderful and strong mother.
I am based in the Republic but I am a solicitor as well as an editor. If, in times to come, you need help writing a strongly worded letter/article/written piece of some sort, for whatever purpose, I would be glad to help. I don't know if you will ever want to do that, but I am just letting you know as I feel it is the only thing I can give to you at this difficult time.
Take care of yourself in the weeks and months to come. Envelop yourself in the love and support of those who care about you. And come to MN whenever you need to, so many of us are thinking about you and sending you good wishes.
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