how should i be feeling?

[cherylandchloe]

I went to the doctors on friday because i had been having awful period pains for about 10 days with a lot of bleeding and clotting and she told me that she thought i had had an early miscarrage probibay at about 6-8 weeks,
This came as a shock as i am on the pill so we wernt trying for a baby (although we have been talking about it for some time). But thinking about it i did miss my last period and have been feeling very tired and emotional just like i was when i was pg with my daughter (3 1/2) it didnt really sink in at first but now i feel like i've been hit in the face with a ton of bricks, i dont know how i should be feeling, feel silly grieving for something i didnt even know was there if you know what i mean but i just cant forget about it.
i have been bleeding now for 2 weeks (my af usualy lasts 5-7 days. and although the bleeding had calmed down slightly yesterday the pain seems so much worse today , i also lost a bigger clot this morning, which with hindsight i know i should have taken to the doctors/hospital to see what it was but i wasnt exactly thinking straight. the blood loss has mainly been a brown colour sometimes red not like a normal monthly bleed at all
i just dont know what i should be doing, should i go to the hospital for a scan to make sure everythings ok or just do nothing? also what di i tell people? my MIL knows something is wrong because we were there over the weekend and saw how much pain i was in, i feel like i want to tell people so im not bottling it up but i dont know what to say...
sorry its a bit long i just needed to let it out and wondered if anyone had been in this position and can offer any advice.

Sorry no advice just sympathy.

Hope someone can come along with some advice soon.

It must have been a real shock when you weren't even trying.

You still have to grieve though and I don't really know how long the bleeding will go on either as I had a missed mc and erpc but bled for over two weeks so it doesn't sound abnormal yet

Hi cherylandchloe

It's not silly at all to grieve for something you didn't know you had, you are grieving for a missed chance, a lost baby, don't underestimate how big this is
I would ring NHS direct if you just want to check with someone about what you should be doing. HTH

Big hugs to you.

Oh and I would tell your closest friends and family. You're going to need the people you love supporting you at the moment.

i am sorry to hear what your going through ,wot did your doctor say to do ? do u no if your local hospital have a early pregnancy clinic ? if so ring them and tell them everything and hopefully they will sugest a scan to make sure everything is coming away and a d&c is not needed.and tell someone so u r not bottling things up,i no you werent trying for a baby but that doesnt mean it shouldnt be hurting,like u say you were talking about having one.my 1st m/c wasnt a planned preg but when i found out it took me a few days to come to terms being preg then a couple of days later m/c and was absolutley gutted.hope some of this might help you .take care!

thanks everyone,
im still bleeding, has now been just over two weeks, i will ring nhs direct tomorrow and see what they say, not sure if my hospital has an epu but ill try and find out, from the blood and other loss ive had im sure i have had a mc but i just cant seem to find a way of telling people, if i say ive had a mc will they wonder why i didnt tell them i was pg, if i say i didnt know i was then how do i know ive had a mc?
My dp knows what has happened but is quite reluctant to talk about it (male way of coping i suppose) but is being really nice to me and asking if im ok and things. i dont think he can really understand, because we didnt know i was pg and he hasnt gone through the pain he doesnt know how it feels iykwim.
i do feel ok but had a few times when its hit me today and ive ended up trying to keep myself busy so i dont break down infrount of my daughter and have to explain why.
thanks again for your replies and advice.
(((HUGS))) to you all
cheryl xx

hi cherylandchloe,i hope you have some luck today finding a epc,the nurse at my epc was fantastic and helped me so much. you need to speek to people about wot your going through ,i no your not sure wot to say but you dont have to explain your self to anyone,all you are asking for is someone to listen wen you need them,if they are close enough to you their understand and b there 4 u .try them!if you dont find wot your looking for ,i will keep an eye on the threads and b here if you need chat good luck !