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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

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Original poster

Is anyone involved with WAY (Widowed and Young)?

28 replies

Yorkiegirl · 28/08/2006 22:42

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Yorkiegirl · 29/08/2006 09:10

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jeddah · 29/08/2006 09:29

Hi Yorkie girl.
I just wanted to say that I have read about your indescribable experience, and I am so sorry for your loss.

Below is a site you may be interested in (sorry I am no good with web links!)
www.wayfoundation.org.uk/

Original poster

Yorkiegirl · 29/08/2006 09:36

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Littlefish · 29/08/2006 09:45

This is going to be a really vague message YG, but someone on MN's mum (now sadly deceased) was involved in setting up WAY. It's on a thread I've been on, so I'll have a search around. It may not be the sort of info you're looking for however.

Original poster

Yorkiegirl · 29/08/2006 09:49

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Littlefish · 29/08/2006 09:51

Found it.

It was katzg's mother-in-law

See the message from 22nd August at 10.57.

Widows and Young

Littlefish · 29/08/2006 09:52

I've worked with a couple of children who unfortunately needed the support of Winston's wish.

They are a wonderful organisation. They came into school to speak to the whole class when a child's parent had died. Can't speak highly enough of them.

Original poster

Yorkiegirl · 29/08/2006 10:01

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sassy · 29/08/2006 10:12

Hi YG, been thinking of you such a lot x

My mum died when my youngest sister was young (13, so a lot older than your girls, but still a child really) and we got a lot of help from a local group called Brambles TRust. It was similar in style to Winston's Wish - gave the kids (Of all ages) some head space, a place to think about their bereavement w/out having to worry about further distressing parents etc, and importantly helped them to have fun too. Your girls might well benefit from this sort of support.

We were referred to this group by our GP. Yours may have info on locally-based stuff of this sort.

You are being so strong. Hope you find help you need.

Christie · 29/08/2006 10:23

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SpaceCadet · 29/08/2006 10:25

i have no experience of this im afraid but just wanted to let you know i was thinking of you.

Twiglett · 29/08/2006 10:28

I was thinking of you at 3am this morning YG ... you have been much in my thoughts

twig
xx

Cappuccino · 29/08/2006 10:28

I know nothing about WAY but I know quite a bit about Cruse bereavement care

they gave my mother counselling after her husband died and she was so grateful that she waited until enough time had passed after her bereavement to train as a counsellor herself; the training was very rigorous so she was well qualified at the end of it

they did one-to-one counselling as well as having a drop-in support type thing

I know that she counselled people of all ages; I think cos it's a charity it depends which area you are in as to what the provision is but it's worth a look; hers was in Leeds

hth, thinking of you xxx

shhhh · 29/08/2006 15:42

Hope you get the support you need yg. Take your time though as you need time to grieve. Your dd's are lucky to have such a strong wonderful mum. xx

katzg · 30/08/2006 08:24

I have spoken to Yorkiegirl about this but thought i would add the info here to incase anyone else would like a bit more info.

WAY is a fantastic organisation, there are groups of individuals who meet to chat to each other and support each other, because they all have had one common experience, losing a partner at a young age. Young being under the age of 50. Whether there is a group in your area or not will depend if one has been set up. I think most areas do have a group but it is left to the individuals in that area to organise it rather than it being done centrally, thats the way is was run in my MIL's days about 2-3years ago. There is also a website forum, which again is very supportive but like mumsnet can have its off days (IYSWIM).

hope that this can be of help.

fairyjay · 30/08/2006 08:35

As we all are, I find I think of you YG and your girls at all sorts of odd times. You seem to be coping so well, and I'm really glad you're looking at support for your family.

harpsichordcarrier · 30/08/2006 08:45

hello Yorkiegirl, thinking of you a great deal.
my dear friend was widowed last year at the age of 31, with two young children. she is very involved in the WAY group (both locally and nationally) and spends a lot of evenings/weekends with them. She will go to someone's house for the evening, and has been away on seaside weekends with and without her childre.

She has found their company and sharing their experiences very helpful and healing.
hth
HC xx

toofatmum · 04/09/2006 12:20

YG
I left the info on another thread but just incase you did not see it Winstons wish is excellent for the children. My friends husband died suddenly of a heart attack 2 yrs ago in the middle of the night. Their 4 yr old was in bed with them at the time and he saw everything. W Wish is very helpful in offering help and advice with the children and there is also a star filled sky that you can be involved in where the girls can leave messages for their daddy in little planets that revolve around a main star. My friend has also found Way very helpful as sometimes it helps to speak to people who have gone through the same experiences as you have. When my first baby died although I had superb friends to help me sometimes it wasn't enough and I became involved with SANDS where I could be with people who really understood the hell I was going through. In the months and years ahead where life returns to 'normal' for everyone else it could be a more longterm source of support for you. 'A Big Hearted Man' a book written bt the founder of the merrywidows web site is also worth a read when you are feeling able. Alot of practical and emotional stuff that may also help.
Much love to you and your girlsXX

PeachyClairHasBadHair · 04/09/2006 12:38

Further own the line I suspect TG, but my firend at school lost her Father and they got a lot out of attending gingerbread meetings.

Thinking of you X

melrose · 04/09/2006 16:50

Hi YG, have been thinking of you a lot.

I do not know what there is in your area, but a friend of mine woorks as a drama therapist and this can be a really good way of helping children t5hrough bereavement, especially very young children who cannot always pt their thoughts into words

toofatmum · 04/09/2006 19:31

YG
Have just thought of 2 other things
One of my friends children saw a therapist who encourages children to draw their feelings if they cannot find the words and that helped her son alot. The other thing is smell if you still have some of DH used clothing that has not been washed that still smells of him this could help the girls as they could cuddle a jumper or shirt that smells of him to comfort him or if he used a special aftershave or soap to put that on some clothing smell is a very powerful sense and can help them remember him.
Much Love

Barbiehair · 01/10/2006 09:37

Hi, this is my firt message so bear with me! I was widowed in August this year at the age of 36. I have two young feisty children, one who seems to have gone of the rails since losing his father. I have an envelope waiting on my desk ready to post to WAY and am hoping that somebody there will be able to help us through this surreal time. Obviously, I don't know what WAY can offer us, but from my point of view, I need to talk to other people who are in a similar situation and if I can, help them too. As with most things in life, I think help is there but summoning up the confidence to find it can sometimes be the hardest thing to do.

Original poster

Yorkiegirl · 01/10/2006 09:42

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monkeymonkeymoomoo · 06/11/2006 09:16

I joined WAY when I was widowed, fantastic organisation - can't recommend them enough.

katzg · 06/11/2006 09:21

just to echo others comments, go for it, join WAY you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. My MIL was a founding memeber and would be so pleased to know that the foundation is still going strong and offering support to young widows and widowers.

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