Mother's Day without a Mum

[Margie32]

I hope you don't mind me posting but all the Mother's Day hype has left me feeling bereft and lonely - why isn't there any sensitivity towards people who have lost their Mum?

My Mum died in November, she was 61. She was diagnosed with terminal cancer 10 weeks after my first DS was born, and she fought it with every bone in her body, but in the end she couldn't fight anymore. I was with her when she died and I said my goodbyes but I'm not sure it makes it any easier.

Every time I look at my DSs it kills me that they'll never know their grandma. She loved them so much, all she wanted to do was live so she could enjoy them. I am lost without her.

I lost my mum 6 months ago after a nine month battle with a viscious stomach cancer. She was just 65 when she died. I feel such emptiness today and a renewed disbelief that we will never spend time with each other again. I have been bombarded with Mothers Day promotional emails, huge retail store displays, roadside banners telling me not to forget mum today and a even a suggestion from LinkedIn to congratulate my mum on her 5 years service with the Alzheimer's society following a promise that her account had been disabled. I have felt utterly bereft at the many miserable looking people I have seen rushing out of service stations and Tesco Directs today with the last bouquets in the shop and the cross teenagers begrudgingly getting into the family car with balloons and chocolate selection boxes to, i am guessing, celebrate the day with extended family. It just doesn't seem fair. I know I shouldn't grade my relationship with mum alongside the perceived relationship those around me have with theirs but I feel so alone in my grief and feel constantly compelled to remind people not to waste the time they have left with their mums as it can be snatched away in heartbeat. I had a wonderful relationship with my mum. We were best friends and although I had to fight for airtime along with my 4 brothers and a sister, we had such fun on holidays together and on extended spontanious lunches over the years. Just the two of us. Laugh, oh how we used to laugh. I feel the hole in my heart today and will be thinking of all those with me, who face this day and beyond without their mums in their lives.

Minty, I think you have almost exactly described how I was feeling all day. So although it's no comfort you are not 'alone in your grief', I'm there with you too. Not a club I was expecting a few short months ago to be a part of ....

If the first mothers day is the worst at least it is over now. With each significant date to do with mum I've been so relieved when it's over.

I hope everyone on the thread who had a difficult day yesterday will feel a little better today

My kids and my wonderful DH made the day bearable. They help keep my mind occupied. I now live in a different country so I cannot even visit the graveyard.

DH bought me a rosebush to plant and grow in memory of my mum as he knows how emotional I get on Mother's day.

DC with the help of DH made a bouquet of flowers (arts n crafts) mixed with some from our wild garden and made me a homemade hot fudge cake.

Also, Mother's day here isn't until May (I think) so yesterday was just for me and mum.

Glad it's over though...