Today has been the final straw that has made me think, okay it hasn't been so long, but when will I stop being scared to see people I haven't seen in a while in case they mention it.!? And when will I get over it, when I feel I have internaly but when it comes to the crunchh, i haven't atall..Do I need to seek proffesional help or is this just a process I need to go through internally?
I am so pissed off with myself, why would I be scared to meet up with people I know will be supportive and would themselves be upset to think I thought otherwise. Indeed to not do something i've been loooking forward to since last week, and might well be what I needed to bing me out of my gloomy shell.
Thing is I don't think that they would 'judge' or be bothered , even if I turned up in tears, these are lovely , lovely people that I have met and spoken to before, but then, seeing them with their small children around is different. In those circumstances you have to be careful with what you say, as small children have huge ears!
I think I want life to continue as normal , but it's been tricky times in our life even life outside the misscarriage, and often at home with DP we keep up pretences , perhaps for our own sanity in face of the sheer neccesity to be so!
Argh, I'm not making much sense, but please, when can things go back to the usual!?