It turns out my pregnancy was ectopic. I started bleeding very slightly, almost nothing really, last Tuesday, went to A&E, they said all looked and felt fine sent me home to rest with appt. for scan on Thursday am. Went for scan after getting a bit crampy and a bit more bleeding, but still hoping everything was okay. They looked at the screen and then there was a lot of whispering and then they told me the baby was in one of my tubes and that I would have to have an operation. Had the op on Friday (they tried to do it keyhole but then had to go in through my c-section scar as I was over 11 weeks and there was more to do), and I'm back home now, feeling better physically, but just awful emotionally. I feel really sickened with myself, like this is my fault as I had taken the morning after pill and so the baby had nowhere to implant in the uterus. And yes, I was upset when I first found out I was pregnant, worried about bad timing and having to cancel things we had planned and all that, but after a few weeks I got really excited, gave the bump a nickname, just started telling a few close friends, all the nice things. On top of it all we had my Dad's memorial service last night which I had wanted to be so perfect, and it was very special, but I didn't feel as conscious of it all as I felt I should. Uuuurgh, sorry, I'm rambling, just wanted to talk really.