People that make you feel good, people that sap your energy

[RainIsTooLoud]

Anyone know what I mean?
More than ever I feel that there are people who make me feel positive and like I am coping with grief and will come out the other side. Similarly I can meet up with people and within 10 minutes want to go home and bury my head under the covers and cry

I'm not talking about people who are mean or unsupportive, they are all very good friends/family. It's just that more than ever I feel certain people give me energy and clarity and others seem to make me more down and depressed. It's not that they're not trying or even saying the wrong things, it's just something I feel more than ever, an energy certain people bring

I've just met a good friend for dinner and I feel better than I have all week, as in, I actually laughed, and I don't feel like I'm drowning. I saw a different friend yesterday and cried all the way home. Neither said anything massively different.

And sometimes it's the people I least expect. A good friend came to see me earlier this week and I felt awful, until her husband turned up to collect her and stayed for a coffee, the 'vibe' changed and I felt really lifted

And I'm not a woo person!

Definitely feel that different people carry their own energies and vibes with them. There are friends who leave me energised just through speaking to them and others who leave me exhausted. It seem the older I get the more I tune into this.

It's weird though isn't it, the people you find to lift you? they're not necessarily those closest to you. I wonder if it's something for me now about being drawn to people who have suffered an intense bereavement like mine, seems to be the only common thread

I think sometimes when you meet someone who has been through something similar to you or who can recognise the signs of intense grief and behave normally rather than like a cat in the headlights there can be a feeling of. Connection and lightness you just don't get with anyone else, yes.

I know exactly what you mean op, and IME its the people you thought would support you who are the worst and people you didn't expect anything from can be great

I remember reading on MN there are 2 types of people in the world, drains and radiators

the drains suck the life out of you and leave you emotionally worn out and depleted

the radiators warm you up on a bad day and warm your heart too

and in life its usually the radiators who have had a hard life, be it loss, bereavement or tragedy...

kinda rings true, doesn't it