I need a poem to commemorate the life of a 4 year old - searched everywhere but found nothing suitable.

[HonorMatopoeia]

Firstly can I say a big thanks to jimjams, cremolafoam, rodeo, pelvicfloornomore and anyone else I've momentarily forgotten for all their advice on how to cope with the recent news that my friends dd (4 years old) has died. I've taken advice and am sending a condolence card and adding a poem - on the fabulous advice of jimjams - the problem now is that I can't find anything suitable. I've searched every way I can think of doing it on the web and I seem to come up with lots of lovely poems for older relatives dying and lots for young babies but nothing for a young child. Does anyone know of a suitable poem or a website I may not have tried? Thank you so much.

No advice I'm afraid. But how sad.

You will probably have found this but I particularly like 'I am the softstars that shine at night'. I'm very sorry to hear you and your friends are having such a sad time.

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.

Thank you both, lovely poem annie, thank you for that.

Have you searched the archives on here? There are quite a few threads I've seen with some wonderful poems on, mainly in this section.

I've done a search in my own inimitable way - i.e. probably very badly. Found a couple of possibilities but again seemed to mostly be beautiful poems for babies.

I can't know anything about how this would feel, and I never understand a word Emily Dickinson writes. But to me she expresses a lot in a few words nonetheless.

Of all the Souls that stand create --
I have elected One
When Sense from Spirit files away
And Subterfuge is done
When that which is and that which was
Apart intrinsic stand --
And this brief Drama in the flesh --
Is shifted like a Sand
When Figures show their royal Front --
And Mists -- are carved away,
Behold the Atom I preferred
To all the lists of Clay!

I'm afraid I don't anything more helpful than to suggest trying your library? Or the website for the Sudden Infant Death organisation - they may have some links or information?

I just also want to say that it's just incredibly sad and I send you and your friend all my best for getting through this x

flies away not files away.

Again I have to say a big thank you ladies, I've been in tears all evening reading through all the poems I 've looked at and all your support and wishes really do help.
Acnebride - I hadn't found that one, it's lovely. Thank you
x

I am so sorry to hear the sad news . I found this one by Kelly Lancor, a mother who also lost her child.

My silent child
our precious baby,
Close to my heart
I'll keep you with me.
An important job
God has for you,
There is love to give,
and work to do.

He needs an angel
strong but small,
To shine light on many
and give love to all.
Before you go
I give you this,
half my heart
and one last kiss.

We'll miss you dearly
that we know,
But by God you were
chosen,
So to heaven, you must go

Allipiggie that is absolutely beautiful, thank you. I'm beginning to think I'll dry myself out if I cry anymore!

If they are religious then this one may be good:

I'll lend you for a little time a child of mine, He said ...
For you to love the while he lives ... and mourn for when he's dead.
It may be six or seven years, or twenty-two and three,

But will you, till I call him back, take care of him for me?

He'll bring his charms to gladden you. And shall his stay be brief,
You'll have his lovely memories as solace for your grief.

I cannot promise he will stay, since all from Earth return.
But there are lessons, taught down there, I want this child to learn.

I've looked the wide world over in search for teachers true,

And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes, I have selected you.

Now ... will you give him all your love ... nor think the labor in vain?

Nor ... hate me when I come to call ... to take him back again?

I fancied that I heard you say ...
?Dear Lord, it will be done!

?For all the joy Your Child shall bring, the risk of grief we'll run.

?We'll shelter him with tenderness. We'll love him while we may,

?And for the happiness we've known ... forever grateful stay.

?But shall the angels call for him much sooner than we've planned,
?We'll brave the bitter grief that comes ... and try to understand.?

Don't worry it made me cry too. Just having an emotional day here as well . Hugs to you

After Glow
Anonymous

I?d like the memory of me
to be a happy one.
I?d like to leave an after glow
of smiles when life is done.
I?d like to leave an echo
whispering softly down the ways,
Of happy times and laughing times
and bright and sunny days.
I?d like the tears of those who grieve,
to dry before the sun
of happy memories
that I leave when life is done.

and

She is Gone
Anon

You can shed tears that she is gone
or you can smile because she has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that she?ll come back
or you can open your eyes and see all she?s left.

Your heart can be empty because you can?t see her
or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember her and only that she?s gone
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back
or you can do what she would want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

in tears reading the poems.when a child dies for whatever reason it makes you take a step back and look at what you've got and appreciate how lucky you rae to have the children that you've got.cant imagine their grief.
thinking of you all at this sad time.

Jan and smbk thank you, thank you. they're all so beautiful (sorry I just seem to be repeating myself tonight!) I'm cutting and pasting and will sit down with them tomorrow to make my final decision. I don't know why, but I didn't expect this to be so very hard

Oh god yes mumandlovingit. I've been so clingy towards my poor dd over the last few days. It really doesn't help that she's the spitting image of this child too

anniediv

i am in tears reading your poem.now ive got my children the thought of a child being hurt or god forbid dying sends me into an emotional wreck.
that poem is beautful and such a nice peaceful way to remember a child, rather than the grave etc.
my heart goes out to anyone who has lost a child.i lost my first through miscarriage and nearly lost my third during the birth because of complications.i cannot imagine these people's grief or losing a child that they've loved and nurtured for four years.
been looking for poems but haven't found any better than ones already posted.

There was a poem that a friend of mine gave to my parents when my sister died and my mom read it at the funeral as it was so apt ,im trying to find it but i cant remember the title,ive asked my mom to try and rummage for it.
xxxxx

What about this book? It's on amazon .

Yes, mumandlovingit, it really makes you stop and think doesn't it. I don't know how these brave people manage to carry on.

You have my heartfelt sympathies for this time. How honourable a friend you are.

I so hope that these wonderful and fantastic poems, altho heartbreakingly sad (and they are....I am crying too), will bring them some solace in their unimaginable grief.

You, and they, are in my thoughts

How about the Frost poem?

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leafs a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

From what many bereaved parents have said on here I think this might be a good reading:

SAY HER NAME!

The time of concern is over. No longer are we asked how are we doing. Never is the name of our child mentioned to us. A curtain descends. The moment has passed. Her life slips from recall. There are exceptions, close and compassionate friends, sensitive and loving family. For most, the drama is over. The spotlight is off. Applause is silent. But, for us the play will NEVER end.

The effects on us are timeless. Say HER NAME to us. On the stage of our lives she has been both leading and supporting actress. Love does not die. Her name is written on our lives. The sound of her voice replays within our minds. You feel she is dead. We feel she is of the dead but still she lives. She ghostwalks our souls, beckoning in future welcome.

You say she was our child. We say she is. Say HER NAME to us, and say HER NAME again. It hurts to bury her memory in silence. What she was in flesh is no part of our now. She was our hope for the future. You say not to remind us. How little you understand; we cannot forget. We would not if we could.

We understand you, but feel the pain in being forced to do so. We forgive you because you cannot know. And we would forgive you anyway. We accept how you see us, but understand you see us not at all. We strive not to judge you, but we wish that you could understand that we dwell in both flesh and in spirit. The mystery is that you do too, but know it not.

We do not ask you to walk this road. The ascent is steep and the burden heavy. We walk it not by choice. We would rather walk it with her in the flesh, looking not to spirit worlds beyond. We are what we have to be. What we have lost you cannot feel. What we have gained, you cannot see.

Say HER NAME for she is alive in us. She and we will meet again, although in many ways we've never parted. She and her life play light songs on our minds, sunrises and sunsets on our dreams. She is real and shadow, was and is.

Say HER NAME to us and say HER NAME again. She is our child and we love her as we always did.

Oh sorry, I skimread your OP, I didn't realise it was for you to put in a card, HM. But maybe you could suggest it to them?

I cannot imagine how they must be feeling