Is it meant to hurt this much?

[Katkins1]

Hi, I will keep this short- don't want to go on.My Grand father died on New Years Day. We were told to say goodbye on Christmas day. He waited until a week later, got ill suddenly.

At first I was cold and in shock, but I think that bits passed. I'm finding it hard to concentrate. Some hours I feel really well, others I'm near to tears with a deep sadness and loss. I can't seem to focus or concentrate. I'm in my third (final) year at uni, single mum to one DD, 6. Trying so hard to keep it together.

I don't know why I posted this. Just to get it out really.

Katkins

The loss is horrible but it does get easier. I buried my darling Dad three years ago this March. I never thought I could think about him without crying. A few months later I DID smile at the happy memories.

You will to. You have a DD and a degree to get on with. He would want you to concentrate on both.

Yes , it hurts. Eventually it will hurt less and you will remember the good times rather than the pain .
The memories you have of your grandad will always bring you comfort.

Sorry for you loss. I know, I have an exam I'm meant to be preparing now on Friday as well. Essay due in Monday, too. But I just need to proofread and reference that, so that's something.

I lost my grandpa in September and whilst it still hurts, I can talk about him now without crying and remember the good times we shared together.
The first few months are the hardest but it does get better. Just give yourself time to heal.
So sorry for your loss.

Thank you. I'm not really much of a crier- but it has hit me all of a sudden!

I lost my step dad at the end of November, to start with the grief was painful, it took my breath away and I felt like I had been kicked in the chest and winded. I still hurt now, but it does seem that time makes it easier, talking about him is much easier, we remember the good stuff and laugh. We still cry all the time, but it feels less breathless and comes much easier.

I think it's still very recent for you and things will be hard, but from experience, it gets easier to express the sadness and accept that we have to go on without our loved one. Keeping them close in memory is all we have, so we talk about him a lot and cry together, and each of us supports anyone who is having a difficult time day to day.

I can relate to feeling as though you've had your breath taken away. It just seems to appear from nowhere, at odd times of day. I was meant to be working but I've been sat here, unable to do anything. I think its tied in with a bit of depression too, been feeling run down and really poorly lately.

Oh love, I lost my grandfather back at the end of September. It is so, so hard. I felt numb at first, and then it became a case of, OK, let's get through this next hour without tears, then the next etc.

It still creeps up on me, every so often - tonight especially I'm feeling very tearful.

I never understood the word "heartache" but I do now. It sometimes feels like a physical ache. I was chatting to a friend today, about Christmas, and she asked if I got everything I wanted.

No one can give me what I want more than anything in the whole world - five more minutes with the man who was a father to me.

for you at this difficult time.

It is really hard. Today I went in to the ladies and cried at uni. I have an exam on Friday, and there is not one part of me that wants to do it. I just feel as though I can't cope with the stress. and a dissertation to write, too, but the less said about that for now, the better.

I have so much to do and just not enough time. The flat feels like a complete tip, and I'm absolutely exhausted. I don't think I am coping very well at all.

Katkins I hope the exam went well. It's worth telling your personal tutor what's happened in case you need a bit of time off, or a little latitude with essays etc. Unis are geared up to help students at times like these. I would echo what everyone else says. When my Mum died, I felt overwhelmed and cried every time I thought of her. Now (8 years on) I can think about her and wonder what she would have done in a situation. I sometimes mentally flick through happy childhood memories in a comforting sort of way. You don't get over a death, but it becomes part of you, and not something which controls your every waking moment.

Hi Stollen,

My exam went awfully! It was a performance exam as well, so I will just have to suck it up. Thank you for thoughts. The Uni have been really helpful and supportive.