Last Saturday (1st) I had a phonecall from the police to inform me that DS2's father had committed suicide. We split up when I was pregnant and things were very difficult between us. But he saw DS2 once a week and now my beautiful boy has no daddy.
DS2 is 6 months old so obviously has no idea what's happened. But I feel like I'm grieving on his behalf. I'm finding it hard to play with him or even smile at him because every time I look at him I feel overwhelmingly sad. I just want to hold him tight (he just wants to play).
Sometimes I'm ok. I'm trying to keep busy and when I've got things to do/people to see I can put it to the back of my mind. But when I'm alone it all seems to hit me again.
Today it feels almost like it felt last weekend. I feel like I'm walking around in a dream and just want to cry all the time. Is that normal? I thought I was dealing with it really well but maybe now the shock is starting to wear off.
My poor, poor baby.