Why am I not grieving?

[rainbowslollipops]

My gran died yesterday. I haven't cried. I haven't felt upset. I've felt a little sad, but relieved she died peacefully. I didn't leave work early because of it, I haven't taken time off yet for it. I'm more worried about how other family members are. I was never close to her but I'd never wish anything bad upon her. I feel like I should be crying, I should be sad. So why am I not?

If you weren't close to her, and she died peacefully, then it's not all that surprising that you aren't in tears. There's not right or wrong way to feel about death or losing someone. Send her your blessings, and take care of your mum or dad who lost their parent. You might find yourself feeling different later or you might not.

Everyone grieves in different ways,there is no right way.

Sorry about your gran.

Would i be making things worse if I didn't attend the funeral? Even if I do find someone to have dd overnight I'd have to try and take 2 days off.

Funerals are for the living so it may matter if you want to support other people.

I have to disagree a wee bit though, I didn't like or get on with my abusive dad but I cried like crazy when he died as I was crying for myself - the idea I'd never get a better dad.

I think the only reason I'd cry would be if I saw my dad cry. I still haven't cried. I've sat and thought about her and spoke to my nan about her but I just don't feel anything. Part of me thinks if I'm not upset about it or likely to become upset about loosing her then I shouldn't go.

The reason you'd be going (if you went) would be to support your other family members and show your respect for your gran to them. If they would be hurt if you didn't attend (mine would be offended), then take the days off and go - you won't regret going but you may regret not going.

From a practical point of view, it's handy to have some less upset people at a funeral, to sing the songs and hand out tissues, help older people to cars etc.