My Ex-wife died today need help to explain to children.

[zombieslovebrains]

Long story short and not trying to drip feed.
Got married and had 2 children DS 15 and DD11.
Due to ex's mental health problems which became apparant after DD was born she had to be sectioned for long periods of time. After spending a couple years in hospitals, she started to get better but had met someone else and decided she wanted a divorce.
So for the last 10 years the kids have lived with me. Even through the divorce we got on well, after the divorce there wasn't any major problems we always managed to work around each other so the kids could see her, we did have a few moments but they didn't last more than a week.
Fast forward to this week. Massive heart attack mid-week, never regained consiousness, died today she was only 41.
Kids don't know yet will be telling them tomorrow, not trying to sound like its all about me, it's my birthday tomorrow so it will be forever linked to their mum's death.
Still feel numb.

[zombieslovebrains]

Thanks to everyone for their thoughts, opinions and condolences.

[thornrose]

Zombies - how are things?

[zombieslovebrains]

Kids ok, they have their moments as expected.
Funeral soon, taken time due to inquest etc.
Personally still find it strange I won't speak to her again. I know we have been divorced for years but we still spoke to each other at least once a week.

[thornrose]

I know that feeling. My x died 3years ago last March, I really struggle with the fact that he has gone for ever. I always say, being a lone parent is one thing, being the ONLY parent is something else!
I still worry about dd, It's very hard to work out if her grieving is "normal"!
She was 10 when her dad died, what's normal about that?

[zombieslovebrains]

thornrose-- totally agree being a lone parent is one thing, being the ONLY parent is something else.
It is bizarre because you think ' oh I must tell them about this/that etc' then you realize that they are not there.

[thornrose]

That doesn't change either it's just so sad.
I make a conscious effort to mention dd's dad as often as possible.
I sometimes say to dd, "gosh you just looked like your dad then" or I will talk to her about when she was a baby and little anecdotes about her dad. She seems to love it.

[zombieslovebrains]

Thanks to everyone.
Update had the funeral, I lost my job 4 days later ( to be honest it was a relief) Kids have their moments obviously. Just found out it was not natural circumstances she took her own life. So far 2013 has been pretty rubbish.

[echt]

Gosh, zombies. Very hard yards for you and yours. I wish you more and more of the strength you've shown.

All very best.

[echt]

How's it going, zombies? Keep in touch when you can.

[echt]

A bump for you, zombies. How are you keeping?