It will be 46 years since my dad died. I was 2 and have never ever grieved for him. My sister who was older is going through the process now and it's really getting to me. I feel I should be doing something about it too. Our mother has never spoken about him, just ignores any questions I've ever had. Ever year on the 16th dec, she phones and says 'you know what today is don;t you?' and I say 'yes', and that's it! It's my sister who has given me some insight into the relationship our parents had ( awful from what i can gather) and the kind of man he was. I feel at a complete crossroads tbh. I've got through this far without really dealing with it but I know that my life has been very difficult - because of? in spite of? I don't know. Don't know whether to get some counselling or not. I'm lucky in that through my job I have daily access to Cruse - and have spoken briefly to a counsellor ad hoc as it were. She feels I would benefit. Has anyone ever waited this long? I think I'm scared!