My parents 50th Wedding Anniversary tomorrow. Dad died 18mths ago. What to do?

[drosophila]

The real problem is my parents had a dreadfull marriage. My Mum has been affected by his death well you would after nearly 50yrs together. I don't know what to do or say. I don't live close so can't visit. Is it hypocritical to acknowledge it when they would have been ignoring it if he were alive?

I would phone and just ask how she is and try and be casual about it. She may want to talk - she may not, but if you phone she at least has the opportunity to choose.
Good luck

Could you send her some flowers or would that make her even sadder? Good idea about phoning.

I'd ignore the anniversary but ring her anyway for a chat. And if she says 'today would have been our wedding anniversary' you can say 'I know' and sympathise. Sorry about your dad.

yes, i ignore my parents anniversary as they didn't have the best of marriages and my mam wouldn't like me mentioning it but we're all different? Mam has another fella now anyway (lot younger)

My sister has sent her a locket with a picture of Dad in it and apparently she complained that it was cheap ( my sister never buys cheap) so I think she was irritated by the gesture and just wanted to critise.

I will phone and see if she says anything. I feel strange about it cos Dad was dieing for 6mths and she was awful to him. SHe didn't know he was dieing but he was very sick. Toward the end she refused to call the doctor cos she thought he was exagerating. SHe complained about him not eating and making a fuss (turned out he had stomach cancer). I have such mixed feelings about it all.

Awww drosophila I'm so sorry for you. Did you have a good relationship with him?

My dad was ill for years but we still didn't expect him to die when he did. He was 56 and a dr in the hospital said he was putting on his breathlessness. He died days later and it was his heart.

I have to go now but will be back tomorrow probably. You take care hun xxx