feeling very bitter

[fuddle]

My mother passed away a month ago. Our relationship wasn't great but we were much closer over the past few years. Emotions are up and down but at the moment I feel incredibly resentful towards my husband and his side of the family. He has been ok but not particularly understanding and I feel resentful that his parents are still here and he obviously doesn't understand what I am going through. It isn't particularly nice feeling like this. His brother is also ill with cancer and although he has been given the all clear looks awful. Maybe just going through an angry stage. Doesn't feel normal just feel like one hell of a cow

Hello. My Dad died last year but I 'postponed' dealing with it until after my baby was born so am still at a v raw stage. I've been speaking to someone who does bereavement support and I think she'd say that whatever you are feeling is normal as there's no right response to death. So go ahead and resent his blissful ignorance and feel like a cow if that's how you feel. Try to vent those feelings in a safe space like here, or in a diary, or outloud shouting to yourself alone in the car with angry music of your choice playing in the background. And then tell him what you need. E.g. I need you to give me a hug, or I need you to take the kids out while I have a big cry on the sofa.

Sending you a hug. Xx

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Feeling angry and resentful is entirely normal (almost any feeling is normal). I liken it to the way that, if a dog is in pain, it will often bite - humans are the same. Please, don't beat yourself up about it. There is an expression used in mindfulness meditation: "thoughts are to the mind as sounds are to the ear". In other words, you may be thinking horrible things about DP, but those thoughts don't have to mean anything. They don't mean that you actually resent your DP, or wish his parents were dead or anything of that sort. (Just as a "sound" is neutral - it is your interpretation of it which matters.) Try to allow yourself to feel what you feel; don't be frightened of it. It isn't nice, but it doesn't mean you are a horrid person. It will pass.

((hugs))