What to do to help my bereaved best friend

[chickensaresafehere]

My best friend's df passed away today after a short but brave battle with pancreatic cancer.Her parents live abroad & luckily she was over on a visit when it happened.
I want to support her as much as possible&would value some advice.

From experience with losing DM i would say you are doing enough. You obviously care so much for asking on here and that is all she needs. Someone to sound off on and care. You sound a great best friend xx

Reading that back that does not sound helpful! I would say call and contact her as much as you can so she does not feel alone x

Make a note of the date and acknowledge it in the next few years. Also call/see her in the week after the funeral - I think that's often when everyone else goes back to real life which is hard when your grief is still so raw.

My Dad died in May. My best friends down here were there without being pushy. Sent a daily text just saying hello. Fed me gin and gave me tissues. Talked about my Dad. Invited me for coffee and didnt stop asking if I said no. Took the kids to the park/beach/dog walking. Hugged the kids. Didn't pretend everything was normal but didn't fuss either. Laughed and let me share memories.

Mum died shockingly fast, nearly 3 years ago. We live a long way from my old friends, but massive bouquets were sent to me, which made me smile and lifted my heart a little every time I saw them. An aunt sent me a rose tree which is in the garden, which has the same effect.

But actually, knowing that people were thinking of me was the best. Flowers, kind words, etc are all lovely, but knowing that someone is thinking of you and cares how you are, is invaluable. Knowing that you can call on someone if you need help.

Excellent post by BadRoly. That's exactly it.

Thank you all.
As she is abroad at the moment,I am texting her regularly,but will be there as soon as she gets back to give her a really big hug.
We have been friends for over 20 years&have been through so much together.I do wish I could do more but from your wise replies I am doing the right things&that is important

My dmum died in February and I could have done with people continuing to acknowledge my loss and that I might be having a bad day. In the beginning the adrenaline of organising the funeral etc gets you through, but the days/weeks/months/years(?) are so hard. My very best friend from many years ago who lives hundreds of miles away visited a couple of weeks ago and just put her arms around me and held me. She didn't need to say anything, I just needed comfort. Don't assume the first few weeks are always the worst, I'm finding things much harder now and would love people to remember, which is probably expecting too much.

You sound lovely and your friend is very lucky to have you thinking of her xxx