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Bereavement

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A way to remember my brilliant, beautiful niece

28 replies

NeverSayNoToDessert · 31/08/2012 16:54

I got the call, at twelve o'clock, that my lovely niece Lorelai passed away after about a year battling cancer. I was her mother's birthing partner (my brother fainted at his first child's birth- so I was chosen for her other two) and was one of the first to see her open her eyes. She was really beautiful (she modelled for some shops and websites) and we called her 'our little rose'.

Three years ago, when Lorri was just eight, my SIL was diagnosed with breast cancer. She sadly died two years ago, and it was terrible- she felt like a proper sister to me, and was an amazing mother. Having to lose two people to cancer in the last two years is a nightmare- they are still recovering from the loss of a mother to even begin to deal with Lorri's death. The last six weeks have been back and forth to visit her, and her brothers, one older, one younger, have stayed with me through the worst. Just a month ago we were all allowed to go to Borneo and an orangutan sanctuary- the last photograph we have of her is when she was cuddling a baby orangutan who had been orphaned. Even during chemotherapy she was beautiful. She will be cremated and her ashes will be scattered in the sanctuary.

I thought that naming a rose after her would be a great memorial. She was pretty like a rose, and it would remember her by her nickname- Lorelai is also a beautiful name and would really suit a rose. I've heard of name-a-rose things, and have searched online, but can't find any. Any advice?

I would also like to ask you to donate, even a few pennies, to Make a Wish because they gave us an amazing memory of a wonderful little girl.

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NeverSayNoToDessert · 31/08/2012 16:58

She had a brain tumour. She was brave through everything and even though it's only been a few hours, and I'm leaving to visit them in just a few more hours, those hours have been the longest day of my life. It wasn't a shock, though it was thought she would have about three weeks left to live, and this is a shock. She died quickly, with my nephews and my brother.

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chibi · 31/08/2012 16:59

i am very sorry for your loss. x

thornrose · 31/08/2012 17:01

Oh I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I agree Lorelai is a beautiful name.

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 31/08/2012 17:02

Safe journey Lorelai x

What a lot for your family to be going through. Such a waste.

I can't hope with the Rose question, but hope others on here can.

DawnOfTheDee · 31/08/2012 17:03

So sorry for your loss. What a beautiful name.

I've had a quick look and this link explains a bit about naming a rose for someone.

NeverSayNoToDessert · 31/08/2012 17:43

Thanks all of you, thanks for the link DawnOfTheDee

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everlong · 31/08/2012 21:16

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HokeyCokeyPigInAPokey · 31/08/2012 21:19

I am so very sorry for your loss.

drjohnsonscat · 31/08/2012 21:27

How terrible. I'm so sorry for all that you have been through.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 31/08/2012 21:43

I am so sorry.

What a tragic loss of a girl who sounds utterly wonderful

Tomorrow is the beginning of childhood cancer awareness month :(

FarloWearsAGoldRibbon · 31/08/2012 21:46

So very sorry for your loss, she sounds so lovely. Thinking of you Sad

HumphreyCobbler · 31/08/2012 21:49

I am so sorry that you all have lost your beautiful girl. Sad

bumpybecky · 31/08/2012 21:57

I'm so very sorry :(

crashdoll · 31/08/2012 22:03

I'm so very sorry for your sad loss and especially for your family, another tragedy after losing your SIL. I know there really aren't any words. xx

Jo178 · 31/08/2012 22:11

May the long time sun
Shine upon you,
All love surround you,
And the pure light within you
Guide your way on.

NeverSayNoToDessert · 31/08/2012 22:42

I am stuck in a traffic jam driving up to be with them, so thought I'd check here. Thanks Jo178 for a beautiful poem. The world has lost a wonderful, loving, intelligent person who only ever wanted to help people and support charities. She wanted to be a scientist and discover cures for diseases ,since her mother had died she's raised, at the last count, £2,495 for Cancer Research UK. She never thought of herself and put everyone but her first- even when she was ill, she worried more about how her brothers were getting on than what might happen to her.

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NeverSayNoToDessert · 01/09/2012 11:52

She looked very peaceful when I saw her this morning (very long drive) and no one wants to stay in the house- every little bit reminds them of Lorri- where she curled up to read, the marks on the wall which she drew on when she was a toddler, her bedroom. We're too sad to cry.

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everlong · 01/09/2012 14:26

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StinkyPig · 01/09/2012 14:31

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3girlies · 01/09/2012 19:29

So very sorry for your loss, she sounds like a wonderful girl with a beautiful name. We lost our youngest daughter Flora aged 6yrs 8mths to brain tumour too, just nearly 9 weeks ago, devastating, we also are trying to think of a suitable memorial. It is something none of us should ever experience. So sorry for your family. X.

QOD · 02/09/2012 09:35

So sorry

NeverSayNoToDessert · 02/09/2012 18:28

Yes everlong- his wife AND his daughter. It would have been terrible losing just one- he said that his world has ended twice in as many years.

To StinkyPig: they were wonderful people, I'd struggle being half as lovely as my SIL and Lorri was just a little angel.

To 3girlies- sorry about your loss. Even though Lorri wasn't my daughter, and my SIL wasn't my sister or anything, every time I look at a photo or even something like my SIL's favourite perfume, I just can't stop crying. Brain tumours are just so terrible.

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everlong · 02/09/2012 19:07

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MiaAlexandrasmummy · 02/09/2012 21:28

Dear never what an absolutely heartbreaking time for you all. Yet you are so eloquent, and you are already thinking how best to capture Lorelai's spirit and beauty. A rose sounds wonderful. Please let us know if there is anything we can do for you or your family. Sending you love and light. X

NeverSayNoToDessert · 03/09/2012 23:30

Thank you again to everyone who commented. We have decided on a rose named Lorelai's Spirit and everyone who attends the funeral will be given one. For anyone who's got any experience in this- can anyone give links to music for her funeral. We want it to celebrate her wonderful life, so we want it to be-not exactly cheerful- but beautiful music, preferably modern. Anyone?

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