My wee gran

[BreeVanDerTramp]

My lovely gran died a week ago, after a very short illness, DD1 is only 3 weeks old and I don't know if I can be happy, sad or both.

Unfortunately DFIL died of the same illness 2 years ago - 3 weeks before DS2 was born. I can't believe this has happened twice and feel so up and down, DGran would have loved DD, she got to meet her a few times but was so poorly she couldn't hold her - a month ago she was running around like a teenager so excited about the birth of her grand-daughter and now she's gone.

I'm so sorry

My nan also died before Dd was born, so I know how you're feeling x

Sorry about your nan mcphee it's the up and down emotions and not being able to share these lovely bundles of joy with them.

I know, and I'm cross with myself for leaving it so late in life to have a baby. I'm 37 ffs. She was here for 36 yrs of my life and my body waits until she's not here. She would have loved Dd, it makes me really sad. All the other great grandchildren had her in their lives, I guess I feel a bit bitter about it. I've not even been able to bring myself to take Dd to her memorial garden, where her ashes are. I'm scared of losing it

If I could have just had one photo of Dd with her

It's shit isn't it.

You should lose it, DD won't know and it might help you you can't blame yourself, I'm only 28 and really thought DG would be here to see DDs children! She was so full of life, I know it gets better as it did after DFIL died. My family defiantly wants to prove the one in, one out theory!

We took DD to funeral which I didn't want to do but she's BF so had to, I feel guilty about her feeling so much sadness so young.