Bloody sodding chuggers

[MissM]

My brother died four years ago in October of non-Hodgkins lymphoma. He was 33 and had everything to live for. It's been tough but you gradually learn to live with the pain don't you.

Anyway, there I was today, in a happy little bubble of Olympics emotion, quietly doing my garden, kids peacefully playing, having just been offered some well-paid work after a few lean weeks and feeling generally pleased with life. Phone rings and it's a chugger from the Anthony Nolan trust thanking me for being on the register (I signed up after my brother died).

He then asked me why I'd decided to go on the register so I told him. He commiserated, then proceeded with his script - 'Did you know that X number of people will be diagnosed with a blood cancer this year?' 'Did you know that one mother has a 3 year-old with leukaemia and was told she had a X% chance of not living if they didn't find a donor?' blah blah blah.

I said to him, 'You're not talking about statistics, you're talking about human beings. My brother was one of them, a human being, not a statistic.' Stupid arse just carried on with his spiel.

I appreciate that charities need to raise money. I appreciate that direct tactics might work (although not convinced personally). But someone has actually told you that their brother has died of cancer, why would you continue to spout statistics and emotive information at them, rather than commiserating and putting the phone down? Bloody ruined my lovely day and now I have a huge headache.

Email to complain and explain. I support a charity that seemed to spend my entire monthly donation on flyers and postage to get me to give more. I phoned up and said my donations were conditional on not being contacted; I want what I do give to be spent on the cause not the admin and marketing. I haven't heard from them since.

Hadn't though of complaining. Just been crying for a bit! Good point though.

MissM, so sorry to hear about your brother - you are clearly doing so much just to carry on, even when it must feel so raw. I suggest you email the Anthony Nolan Trust to complain and suggest that staff need additional training as clearly they may not have any common sense www.anthonynolan.org/home/Contact-Us.aspx

Hope your headache clears soon.

I got pretty wound up with a Cancer Research chugger once (my mother died of cancer when I was 16) - they really do need to sort out their training and learn to gauge when to leave the hell alone.

Happy Camel - I might adopt your technique with the Red Cross - I don't want their free greetings cards or address labels or pens; I just want the money I give them to go where it's needed. And while they're sending me free stuff they're also bombarding me with emails asking for more money.

MissM - I'm sorry for your loss.

Thank you all for your kind words.

I'm going to go out on my bike for a bit to clear my headache. What I don't get is how they train people to just plough on through their script when someone has quite clearly told them that they're bereaved. They must get it all the time surely. Can't they can just shrug over the loss of £10 a month (which is what they were asking me for) and put the phone down?

Interesting that they didn't bother to contact me to say thank you when I raised £500 for them running a 10K.

All the same Edward, what kind of training must they get. I'm definitely going to complain now!

I complained to the Red Cross after the company they'd employed to raise funds by phoning previous donors simply wouldn't take No for an answer. I'd already explained my financial circumstances and how I was not in a position to make a regular donation, but the caller insisted on sticking to his script. I felt as if I was talking to a double-glazing salesman. I told the Red Cross that by the end of the call I felt less inclined to donate than at the beginning.

They were very sympathetic, thanked me for letting them know, and said they would ask the firm to investigate.

So sorry Miss M that you were hassled in this way.