having a bit of a wobble

[LonaMisa]

My dad died almost 3 weeks ago. today my best friend, my mum and I finished clearing out his flat. I was doing ok for a few days but today it has hit me hard that he is truly gone. The shock of his death has passed, and now the awful realisation that I will never ever see him again is starting to hit home. I know things will get better, I keep telling myself they will , and I keep hearing his voice telling me how proud he is of me, and that It will get better, but I just cannot bear it.

whats making it worse is that today my pdoc has taken me off my mood stabilisers (for bipolar) for a month to see if a certain side effect (raised prolactin-producing breast milk) will subside, if not, i have to see an endocrinologist. I have to manage a month without the tablets that keep me well, whilst going through this huge loss. I am scared I will get very ill.

Can't you ask to stay on the tabs for a month or so?

thanks, think i will try a week without the tablets and If i am struggling will go back to the doctor.

Its not helping that my house is full of my dads stuff, that i need to sort through and shift. my house smells like him and his flat and there are constant reminders that he is gone.

Hi lona. This is the hardest thing in relation to us losing our mums/dads. I don't have much in my house, but for my dad it's very hard as they were together for 40 years! I know very soon we will have to clear more..if feels right now.

I don't know about the tablets best let the dr know you need them, go with your gut feeling :) I try not to ignore mine, I believe before my mum passed it was my nan, but now it's my mum telling me.

Take care

I have loads now though as I have a whole shelf with her picture that is full of jubilee bits, and flowers, and anything we think she will love!!

Hi thanks for your replies, I have only just seen them as i was indeed quite ill, and still rather fragile, but getting a bit better. the good news is that the breast milk has eased up a bit, so hopefully i wont have to see an endorinologist after all.phew! got to wait two more weeks before starting on some new mood stabilisers.
I still have dads stuff everywhere, have not been well enough to do anything about that.we don't have a car so its not like i can just run it to the tip or the charity shop, and it all needs sorting through. oh well.It can wait. I cant believe its been a month since dad died, i still can't really believe he is gone.