The bed in which some dies in?

[sarah876]

My mum passed away two months ago at home in her bed. She had bowel cancer but was termed terminal and spent the last 5 weeks of her life dying in her bed. One month after her death , her partner announces he has a new woman brings her to the house and has sex in the bed my mum died in, i am gutted that her memory has been violated in this way especially since my mother left everything in her will to him. What does anyone think about this?

I'm very sorry for your loss and that you have had this subsequent upsetting experience. I would feel the same in your position.
Hopefully you get on OK with your late mum's partner and could tell him how you feel. He may be happy to replace the bed, maybe you would like to have it?
I suggest this as I have a friend who was in a similar situation and that was the outcome. Sorry in advance if you don't like the idea.

If he has offered all this information to you in this way, then I would say he is either a vile human being or in the throes of some weird post-bereavement leave of his senses.

How did he treat your mum while she was alive? How was he while she was well and while she was unwell?

TBH I think the less you know about his current private life the better.

its been a whole mess, i havent said anything to him about it as he has suggested to sell the house and give myself and my two siblings some money from the sale but then we find out they had a life mortage and the bank already owe a 3rd of the house with almost 10,000 a year in interest being added on yearly. I think this a bluff and id rather not have anything because its messing with my grieving process, he has moved out for a few weeks so we can get our head around it. im gonna get rid of the bed....he has asked to keep it but on this occasion im putting my foot down!

we never thought he would do this so it has tainted our trust in him. my poor sister will not continue to live there as it would be to hard for her. I have my own family so have my own place. She will soon be on the homeless list!

OMG no wonder you're upset. I thought the thread was going to be about keeping or replacing the bed. I suppose we all grieve in different ways, but his behaviour is completely insensitive.

His behaviour has been insensitive but none of us has said anything to him.....not in fear but the carrot he has dangled, we are all struggling so it would help us but im beginning not to want to bother as im finding it to hard to cope with :-(

I think it's highly insensitive of him to tell you that information, not to mention selfish and utterly vile.

I don't blame you for putting your foot down over the bed. I would too.

I have my GreatGrandma's bed and all her bedroom furniture and have had since she died when I was in my teens. I replaced the mattress as I couldn't bear to sleep on "her" mattress. It's in our spare room now, and will most likely be BabyHobs's bed when he's old enough to need a proper bed (with another new mattress!!)

Do you want to keep the bed for yourself? Even if you don't, I wouldn't let him have it. I don't think I could bear it.

I am sorry for your loss OP.

Thank you, no i dont want to keep it....creeps me out a bit, and i see her die in it and it wasn't pretty, a memory i wish i didnt have. He doesnt know but im getting rid of it, think he might get the hump but ive gone past the point of caring what he thinks. Its such a shame I thought he was a decent man. I understand he is grieving and i dont care that he has another woman but trying to move her in so soon when we had our backs turned is a bit sly.

Sarah, he sounds absolutely horrible to do that and to say it to you. Why on earth would he say that ?