So sad

[madasa]

My dad died in October and I miss him so much I can hardly breathe.

I hate (unreasonable I know) every person I see buying a Father's Day card for their dad.

I have just had an offer on my dad's house (first in 6 months) and I hate the couple that will live in my dad's house.

I have had to spend all day with a client in the same hospital that cared for my dad and I hated every minute but had to be supportive to my client.

The anti depressants I have been taking for 5 weeks have caused a flare up of my ulcerative colitis which has been in remission for years.

I don't even know why I am posting......am just so sad tonight

I am sorry for your loss . anger and hate is a very normal and very real part of grieving. It is ok to feel like this (just don't actually go and stab someone based on it ok? .

Even now, 5 years on from the death of my mother, I see people with their mum's doing normal mum things and I occasionally resent them for still having that.

I'm sorry
I know what you mean, my dad died too

I can remember feeling exactly like you and saying to a friend how much I hated dh's dad seeing the kids, as my dad couldn't

she told me I was horrible to say that

but she hadn't a clue, I wasn't being horrible, I was just being human, like you are now

time heals, but I know that doesn't help you just now

all I can say is be kind to yourself and know you're not alone

Poor you! I've lost both mine, so know how you feel (plus a 'frenemy' from school bought 'my' childhood home, and that really stuck in my craw).

You're still early days yet. Take it one day at a time. The first year is the worst - all those 'special' days and anniversaries.

What would your dad say? Probably 'stop being so stupid and pull yourself together, girl'. He wouldn't want you to grieve but to get on with your life. It doesn't mean that you are disrespecting his memory - you are allowed to laugh, smile, enjoy yourself.

I remember this well after my sister died; everything was just so different, strange and hard, and there were pairs of little old ladies everywhere. Sometimes people just didn't can't get it, but I found that some did know exactly how it was. I know saying 'it will get better' is of no real help, although it will; i found writing it down (if and when, nothing regular) was more useful. The biggest possible hug to you.

I know how you feel. It's been four years since I lost my Dad, and there are times when I still want to scream and cry.

It does change though. Mostly, I am now fine, but have time when I am just very very sad.

I struggled for the first year. I deal with bereaved clients at work and, at times, it was a struggle to keep going.

I had bereavement counselling through my GP, and it was wonderful. Probably the most worthwhile thing I have ever done for myself. I managed without anti-D's, although I was certainly depressed for a few months, but it was the counselling that pulled me through.

Thank you all for your kind words...I felt very low last night.
Today has been better and I have finished work today for a week
It is comforting sometimes to come here and not feel so alone, so thank you all again x

Sometimes you just need to say how you feel. We are always here to listen. X

Thank you Sittinginthesun. I am also having bereavement counselling which is so helpful in unravelling my thoughts, like you said , really worthwhile

hi madasa, hope today goes ok for you, well at least as ok as it can

Thank you Faye

It's early and already it's hard. Just miss him :(

I know

Madasa, my wonderful dad died 7 years ago. Reading your post reminded me of my devastation. I remember very clearly after 6 months going away for a weekend with my DH and the lady at the hotel, who we knew very well, asked what was wrong with me. I broke down crying and told her that it was 6 months since my dad had died, six months since I had seen my dad. I think lots of people expect you to be over the worst of the grieving by then, but for me it was as raw as ever.

It was another few months after that before I went for counselling and that, for me, was the turning point. Slowly I became stronger.

I miss him lots and I know he would have been so upset at the pain I went through and would have wanted me to have got on with my life much quicker than I did. I think (although he never got annoyed at me) that he would have been angry at me for being so upset.

You will recover. It will take time. It's normal to feel like you are feeling.

Thank you Zhaghzhagh

Am nearly 8 months on...in some ways it feels like only yesterday I saw him, in other ways it feels like a lifetime.

He too would have been upset to see me in so much pain. He would do what he always did when I was upset which was to give me the biggest bear hug and whisper in my ear to 'be strong'.

Sorry for your loss but thank you for posting. It is comforting to see that people do cope.....of course logically I know they do but sometimes, just sometimes it feels impossible.

Sorry for you loss. I lost my Dad over 20 years ago now and it feels even more painful today than before. Partly because now have dc and have another on the way.
I am also on my 2nd Mother's Day without my mum. Died March last year. I found myself really resenting my MIL. Not nice I| know but natural I guess.

Oh Manchester I do know what you mean.

I blurted out to my DP that I hated all the people who were in my way in the supermarket because they were choosing cards for their dads.

Yesterday morning brought tears because I hated all the people who were starting up there cars as I just knew they were going off to spend the day with their dads.

I don't really hate them but am filled with some kind of rage. I think your feelings are normal.

Sorry for your losses but also congratulations on your soon to be new baby x

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