Still hurting about this some 16 months later.

[york67]

Lost my wonderful mum 16 months ago. Lost my dad over 20 years ago so we were especially close.
Dh has been fine on a practical level but was not as supportive emotionally as I would have liked.
The lowest point was after the funeral, when I had held it together for children most of the day. I came home and started doing some bits on the computer. Tears flowed and dh asked me why I was crying.
I was so shocked I didn't reply.
I don't know whether bringing this up now would help or whether I should try and forgive and forget.

Men don't do mortality or empathy. DH is fabulous and I adore him to pieces but he is singularly bad at understanding grief. I think it is to do with being in denial about death. It took months to persuade him that I ( and the kids) really needed him to take out proper life insurance cover. When my uncle died last year - we were very close - he just didn't get why I was crying, there was no hug or even a pat on the shoulder. And I don't think for a minute it was that he didn't care, I think he just doesn't like to think about death and there I was making him face it. I don't know if your DH is the same, but you are entitled to grieve and you should have a good cry if you need it. I can't imagine losing my mum and I think it would take a very long time to heal from such an immense loss. Be gentle on yourself.