dad died and not sure what to think!

[Happylander]

My dad has had bugger all to do with us for years. He was an alcoholic, cheating, lying arsehole tbh. Anyway found out today via a solicitor that he is dead and had in fact died last week and that someone he has left everything to has organised his funeral for next wednesday. I have no idea how I feel about any of it..literally no idea.

Any advice? it is all so weird!

I'd give it few days, it's a lot to take in I should think.

Hope you have friends and family around you to support you.

Happylander, I can totally sympathise with you. We have nothing to do with our dad, and I have often thought about what I will do when he dies. I still don't know really, but I can't imagine I will go to the funeral (even though for most of my childhood he was a great dad, it all seems false given what I know now). I feel I have already grieved for my dad, or the dad that I once had, he's just some random man now, not my dad.

I don't know if you've made any decisions, but don't be afraid to do whatever you need to do, even if other people don't understand.

I can sympathise too in a way. My father died the day before yesterday. He abused my sister and we didn't have a very nice time of it as kids. He wasn't a very nice man but I think I am still in shock. I don't know how I feel yet. My sister doesnt want to go to the funeral, I don't even know. But I still feel a loss iykwim? I'm confused right now.

It is sad that these men treat their families so badly and I am sorry for you both. Yep it is confusing alright. I worked out that I actually felt nothing which is what I was finding weird because you are supposed to feel something right?? We went to the funeral and it neither me or my brother and sister felt a thing apart from a bit angry really. All his drinking friends were there and some did speak to us well spoke to me as my brother and my sister weren't interested. I ended up saying 'look you knew a completely different person than us, he as never nice to us and did not care about us' when they started saying what a great man he was!!

Anyway done now and it is actually better in a way that he is now dead if that makes sense. We did have a nice time though 11hours in a car but it was good to have a laugh and spend some time with my siblings as that doesn't happen often without the kids etc.