It is one year today since my father died

[bibbitybobbitybunny]

I just feel exceptionally low and sad, that is all.

Dd is poorly, both dc are home from school now, I have to get out to the kitchen to feed them and then do something for dh and I - and I don't want to. I haven't done any tidying or washing up all day. I have 0 energy. Absolutely none. Will have to speak to family later and then will get upset. Sigh.

The anniversary of a parents death is hard,bibbity,but I think I found the first one hardest.

You have all my sympathies.

Thank you Skinny. Didn't expect to feel so devoid of motivation today, I guess am feeling sorry for self .

Sorry, bibs

The 'firsts' are hard to get through.

And you are not feeling sorry for yourself - you are grieving - there is a massive difference.

Why not get a delivery takeaway tonight, and sod the cooking?

Thank you biwi. I didn't realise grieving could make you feel so rubbish!

I have cooked some chicken (that's a whole other thread!) which we are going to have in a chickpea, chorizo and spinach stewish thing. The dc have had spaghetti with pesto .

I am having wine even though its not the weekend.

I'm so sorry - all anniversaries are bloody hard, but the first one is just beyond awful. And it's so hard to talk about, isn't it? And yes, have some wine and raise a toast - I'm sure he'd be very proud of you.

I'm so sorry, bibb.

Don't think you're indulgent, I think grief is worse than the worst flu, being hit by a sledgehammer. You're doing so well to be able to post, let alone provide supper for everyone.

Lots of good wishes.

... and you've got through all the 'firsts' now, which does make it a little bit easier - or it did for me (although birthdays/Mother's day is always a bit testing)

Good idea about the wine!

Bibbity it's ok to get upset, you are not feeling sorry for yourself, you are going through one of the most horrendous things possible.

I lost my dad 6 months ago and never knew how grief could absolutely knock you for 6.

I hope you enjoyed the wine...who cares if it isn't the weekend?

Take care and be kind to yourself