Need help with a note of condolence.

[petunia]

A little background: My parents used to live in this small village but moved out about 8 years ago. When I lived at home, we were always friendly with a couple- always in each others houses for coffee and dinner every couple of months. This couple came to my wedding 10 years ago and that was the last time I saw them although we still exchanged Christmas cards.
On Saturday, we got a letter. The husband died suddenly a few days before Christmas in 2004. He'd only been ill for 10hrs before his death. A can't imagine what it must have been like for our friend, to be thinking about Christmas one minute and then having to organise his funeral the next. There's going to be an inquest in to his death and she's only just got a date for this.
I've got a card for her this morning but I've no idea what to put. I somehow think that just saying, "thinking of you" isn't enough. Has anyone got any ideas?

something like - very sad to hear your news - thinking of you.

Message withdrawn

i was so sorry to your sad news about john.what an awful shock htis must have been for you.
i hope that you are managing to bear up and are taking care of yourself.
John was such a lovely man, do you remember the time he ( whatever nice thing he did)
hopefully i will see you soon,etc etc.

something like this?

How horrible - your poor friend.
I'd just keep it simple - say how sorry you are. But also try to mention something nice about her dh - maybe something kind/funny/thoughtful he said to you or did for you when you lived nearby? When my dad died, it was the letters that said something personal about him and what he meant to the letter-writer that touched me (and my mum) more than any others. HTH

Do you mean you've only just found out he died over a year ago, or do you want to send a message of support because of the inquest.

Very sad for your friend though.

Message withdrawn

i 'll bet he was a john.a nice kind friendly john.not a stuffy pompous george!

shit sorry to be tactless

Thanks everyone for responding.
Aero- I meant that I only found out that he died just over a year ago. Our friend even signed last years Christmas card (2005) from her and her husband. She probably didn't want to give us the sad news in her card.

I like what Cod said. It is short and conveys so much more than a simple thinking of you.

alexsmum -no, it's not tactless, it made me because it reminded me what a lovely man he was. He was actually a "Paul".

Wow - it'll have been a very difficult year for her in that case.
I do agree that saying something personal is important and something about remembering fondly the good times you all shared together. The fact that you haven't seen her for so long is neither here nor there. You still thought about each other from time to time as we all do with friends we rarely see. I'm sure you'll find the appropriate words when you gather your thoughts together.