My Mum died from lung cancer. I'm struggling...

[maybeyoushoulddrive]

My Mum died a couple of weeks ago but it's only beginning to sink in and i'm really struggling to cope with losing her.

I think having the funeral to focus on didn't give much time to think or grieve, but now that life is 'back to normal' I'm really really missing her. It's hard to see the world moving on, but without her. It hurts so much.

Don't know why I'm posting here, just felt very alone suddenly.

Maybe, glad it wasn't just me. It's hard when you lose a parent especially if you're a close family because you assume your parents will be there for you when things are hard and when you lose one your relationship with the other gets a bit turned upside down.

We don't have a lot of family occasions but we're similarly scattered. Dad is an hour and a half away and mil 4hrs away. The only family thing we have is Christmas and although we always invite mil she always chooses to go to bil's. She's done this since the arrival of her pfb dgc so its a no brainer for us.

we're down with dad at the moment and you know the complete lack of awareness of others thing? Well just that. DH is putting dd to bed. Im feeding DS to sleep and dad is immediately below us listening to a howling tenor at full volume... Although he does appear to have turned it down a bit now...

I don't think the older generation think of things like being quiet at bedtimes! Dad sets his alarm for 6:45 every morning - no idea why - so we're all woken to the radio blaring as he's stione deaf and needs it at maximum volume - I can hear every word from the other end of the house Did your children manage to sleep through it???

I find the distance thing really hard. I really wish Dad was down the road or would come and stay with us but he wont leave his beloved garden. It means he's been alone for 4 weeks since Mums funeral, which I've hated. I know he quite likes his own company but I'm worried he'll become an ecentric recluse Some of Mums last words to us were 'please make sure your dad has clean collars'!!! There's no hope of keeping him clean from a distance!

I think we got dad up to stay a couple of weeks after mum's funeral but the week after he was taken ill and spent 3 weeks in hospital which gave him 3 weeks of care and generally being looked after which kind of helped but I felt hellishly guilty leaving him there over Christmas . Mind you he says he barely remembers being there and is aware that he had visitors but its all a bit vague so I've stopped beating myself up about it now.

I don't know how you managed to cope with your Dad in hospital so soon after your Mums death and Christmas and everything... I struggled with Mother's Day - all these anniversaries and special days to be got through.

Hope you're looking after yourself - you must still be in a spin...

Hope everyone's Easters are manageable. We're spending it with Dad, will be a bit strange but it'll be nice to all be together.

I'll try to pop in in the holidays to catch up xxx