My dad died yesterday -practical things to cope?

[SubOptiMum]

my dad died yesterday of a heart attack. He was 76. I am in bits. My eldest daughter is 2next week and my youngest is only 3weeks old (and EBF but with issues so worried about how feeding will be affected). I am devastated that dad never got to meet DD2 as we had cancelled a visit due to start Monday as felt it was too much at min :(

We are going to stay with my mum and bro today. Very worried as my bro has mental health problems and my parents were his full-time carers- not sure how my mum will cope being sole carer (bro is 27 and okish but currently hard to engage and needs reminding re. Tablets etc- he seems to be taking news fine at min)

What practical things can I do to help my mum and bro but also looking after myself too? My dad did everything financial etc so there will be a huge amount to sort out. My mum is still sorting probate for her own father so will be massively stressed.

Just feeling very numb and lost at the minute. I want my dad back.

Sorry that all of you are going through this loss.

Thanks cloud. Thinking of you too, xx.

I just wanted to check in and see how you both are.
I'll be thinking of you tommorow sub and hope the funeral goes as well as it can for you. Make sure you eat in the morning as you will need your strengh.

My Dads funeral went ok and we scattered his ashes earlier this week. I'm struggling with my thoughts a little and go between emotions like a yo-yo. Its making me so tired. Little cracks are starting to appear within in the family, I have spent a lot of time biting my tongue,and I'm really trying hard not to let bitterness overcome me. I'm so glad I have dp I really think I would have had a breakdown if it were not for him.

I hope you are both well and looking after yourselves.

Cloud, sorry you are struggling. I feel very like you so hopefully normal! I am v tired too. Hope you are managing though, hugs, xx.

Poor Cloud, suppose now the funeral has happened you have the time and space to think/grieve too. My dad's service is at 1.20 today. I am sort of looking forward to celebrating his life but don't want the funeral to be over as then dad is really gone if that makes sense. Still doesn't always feel real. Am at home with my mum. Have been doing loads of paperwork. One car insurance company (smart people budget) are evil fleecing money off the bereaved. But top marks to Saga car insurance who even offered my mum free breakdown cover to help her!
Overwhelmed by how much I have to do. My dad did part of my tax return every year for investments he had for me. I have no clue how to find that info. Yikes.

Hi Sub, good luck today. Re car insurance, I used to work for an insurer and there usually is an additional premium due to rating, but almost always written off. Might be worth a complaint email when you're up to it, Xxxx.

Yeah they wanted additional premium plus £35 admin fee, or start new 12month policy with them (locking bereaved person into contract) or a£75 admin fee to cancel the policy. After i shouted w
They waived the £35 admin fee and we paid the additional premium to get my dad taken off policy but we will never use "smart people budget" again. Budget is so often a euphemism for big fat meanies!
I get there maybe an increase in premium but the nice thing to do is to write it off especially as only 4months left on policyterm. Saga wrote it off and our policy with them expires in October. Shall be complaining and naming and shaming on mumsnet/twitter.

How are you both doing?
I'm still muddling along. The last few days have been really hard for me and I have no idea why. I feel physically drained and have almost no energy. I just want to sleep all the time. I feel like Im being pushed out by Dads family,which is probably in my head, I feel like I'm in some kind of grief competition with step mum and its very very hard to talk to her, she's not said anything cruel its just so hard being in her house and talking to her on the phone without my Dad being there so I put it off and now she probably thinks I dont give a shit, which isn't true so she's probably being cold to me because of me. I have no idea how to say this to her. Hopefully things will get easier soon.

Hi Cloud, I am struggling too, maybe its natural? I feel like no one is letting me talk about how I feel and everytime I try they cut me off but I am always listening to them.

I am thinking about phoning Cruse or similar but feels very pretentious somehow.

So sorry you are struggling too, feel free to pm me if you feel like a less public chat, xx.

Hi
My dad died on Sunday PM. He had cancer but wasn't expected to 'go' just yet so it was all rather sudden. Just sorting out paperwork and the funeral. All very hard. I'm fine for a bit then it just gets worse and I start getting very shakey. Adrenalin goes in your body and you have to get rid of it so I'm trying to go for walks and bike rides and feel better after that.
Hope you two are doing OK. My children are older 17 and 11 and are struggling with it all as well.