what can i do to help

[taytotayto]

our neighbours who are just the most wonderful people had a terrible shock this week when their teeage son died suddenly. i feel terrible for them. what can i do to show i care. i want to be there for them but also want to let them grieve in private. ive been to see them twice but only for a few minutes i just wanted them to know how much i felt for them and if i could help in any way. what have people found helpful from friends etc at a distressing time like this.

how often should i call over to see them if at all. what can i do to be helpfull?

I would take a bag of shopping round; tea, coffee, milk, biscuits, bread. They may well have a lot of family and friends rounds and will give no thought to shopping and even in their grief will want to have a cup of tea and a biscuit to hand for people. Someone did this for my dad when my mum died - 30 years ago, and I still recall how thoughtful it was.

I would also bring some food round - as Huw said, but also something you have cooked - they probably won't feel like eating it but certainly won't feel like shopping or cooking, and may have family over that will want to eat. Maybe soup etc.?

thats a great idea. ill cook and take some tea coffee around. its so hard to know what balance to get. i dont want to get in the way but also feel like i need to do something for them as they are such great neighbours/frieds. we think the world of them. they had the nicest son ever and we will miss him and as a mother myself i cant imagine the pain they are feeling now.