dont normally do this sort of thing but felt i need to do something. last wednesday we went to our routine midwife appointment and were told she couldn't find his heartbeat. sent to hospital for a scan where i was told the devistating news..... my lil boy was with us and so my oh couldn't come in the scan room with me.... i feel tortured that i had to tell my oh and lb the news without even somehow preparing my lb. my baby was born last friday. i just don't know what to do with myself.............. feel so lost and empty feel my lb needs his mummy but just don't know how to put that smile on...... i've been told by school his ok when he's with them and has a good support network that allow him to talk about what has happend but when he's at home he isn't really his normal self. he's very clingy (which is understandable) and last night 2hours after i put him to bed i heard him sobbing his little heart out. if things aren't bad enough i've developed an infection in my womb and my boy is so careful and considerate knowing that if mummy sits on the floor it hurts to get back up and he's tring to help me lifting me up but feel so guilty, that isn't his job its my job to look after him not the other way around....my oh has been wonderful and has sorted just about everything out but i've been trying to find some music for my baby boys funeral and has been tearing my heart apart..like i said i don't do this sort of thing but felt i needed to get something out of my head.............