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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

bereavement in pregnancy......what was your experience?

2 replies

georgethecat · 03/01/2012 19:31

Ok so I'm 32 weeks my nan died just before christmas, I loved her so much, I would see her every other day. I have just freaked out about the funeral. I thought it was just anxiety so I drove to the crem twice to pootle about and reduce fears. I just feel that I can't face it in any shape or form, I dont want to see the box, talk to people about it, have my heart ripped out again.
This is not usually me, I am accustomed to death and feel strongly about being there to give someone a good send off/ support family - I feel shit about myself for not doing this but at the same time don't want to push myself and effect the baby. At the moment I am getting a lot of palpitations, stress sweats and I feel really low. My family have been really good about it and want me to take it easy. Just wanted to vent into cyberspace really and seek other peoples experience. xxx

OP posts:
thinkofthemoney · 03/01/2012 19:40

I'm so sorry for your loss. My mum died unexpectedly (she fell down the stairs) when I was 10 weeks pregnant with my first child.
I kept going for the sake of my baby but felt as you did about not wanting to go to the funeral.
I too am accustomed to death ( I'm a doctor) so couldn't explain it, still can't.
I do feel 4 years later that I haven't grieved properly for my mum as I focused so much on the pregnancy to keep going.
Take the time to grieve properly. Don't have much real advice but wanted you to know others have been through similar.

BloooCowWonders · 03/01/2012 19:49

My father died when I was expecting dc3 ( went to 3 funerals in 6 months) No one expects you to be strong or anything else. It will all pass.

If you are able, focus on your baby. Plenty of relaxation (cd's work for me) and just sitting holding your bump might help. Remember the dead loved ones while connecting with your baby. Good luck.

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