Please or to access all these features

Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

what do you do if the guy you loved commeted suicide

26 replies

CreamolaFoamless · 30/12/2011 04:17

I can't find a way through it ...........every other man I meet I compare to him..Steven

I really dont know where to go from here?

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 25/01/2012 07:17

My dh sadly hung his self due to depression April 16 2011 - so just over 9mths ago :(

The shock and emotions I had finding him as was in our house are difficult to explain and for people to comprehend

What I will say is that you mustn't ever blame yourself - through counselling and the coroner and friends and doctors etc - all have told me that dh meant and wanted to die due to the way he killed his self

Hanging is quick and final and no return - and is not a cry for help - unlike pills and slashing wrists etc

I know the above sounds very blunt and possibly hurtful and it is not meant to be

I go to a sobs group - survivors of bereaved of suicide - and many there I feel are not surviving and some feel that their child/oh didn't mean to do it - trust me they did

And there is nothing that you or I could have done to stop them - the quicker you reliese this then the easier if that's the right word - it is to try and get your head round what has happened

What that person said at the funeral was unforgivable and try and forget it - easier said then done :(

What I got told and over the months I have to agree - is that if I wasn't there in my dh life the past nearly 20years that he would have killed his self years ago - the love and support I give dh kept him alive but eventually he just couldn't cope :(

Yes course I feel guilt - terrible guilt that I didn't manage to 'cure' dh but alas depression is a silent killer - my brother describes it as cancer of the mind - it's there but no one can see

Not sure if what I have written helps and if it makes it worse (and tbh nothing can be worse then losing someone you love) then I am sorry - it is my insight over the months

All the love in the world just couldn't keep dh alive and happy and I hope mark has found his peace and light at the end of his tunnel of darkness

Feel free to message me if you want

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread