Just to say thinking of all of you that have lost someone this christmas...

[SantieMaggie]

I know this is going to be a sad time for many people, including rl friends and family.

My dear grandmother passed away yesterday after a long and painful illness. It was always going to be a sad christmas whether she was here or not.

Anyway I just wanted to say I'm thinking of everyone that has lost a loved one and sending lots of hugs x

That's very tough timing Santie Maggie. I lost my mum in May and I miss her more than I know how to say. She was a bit "bah humbug" about Christmas but it is all wrong without her here. One year when I was working she came to stay to keep my company a few days later. Very much missed.

Not unexpected but still not easy. She was trying to hold out for xmas and I had visions of her dying on xmas day. sounds selfish but glad it wasn't.

sorry about your mum x

Thank you SantaMaggie for posting that. Just reading your thread title made me cry. My lovely mum died on Wednesday 14th December 2011. I've cried every day since she went into hospital on the 9th. In some ways I will be
sad if I have a day when I don't cry.

Thinking of you too.

Thank you leaky. I'm sorry to hear about your mum.

I'm struggling and i wasn't very close to her.

I'm sorry for your losses SantieMaggie and Leaky. It's such an awful time to happen. It's awful at any time but when everyone is busy having a good time whilst you're dealing with this it can be a very lonely experience.

My Mum died 2 weeks ago too, on 27 December. She had Cancer for 5 years but it had been stable for a lot of that time, suddenly spreading with a vengeance in August this year. I flew out to France a few days earlier than planned to be with her for Christmas and am so glad I did. The first 3 days I was with her she was lucid and we had chats and looked at silly stuff on the internet together. She didn't want to go to hospital and wanted to be at home for Christmas. My Stepdad, my Auntie and myself nursed her through the nights as she didn't have the strength to get out of bed or do much of anything for herself. After this she became much worse, could hardly move, was sleeping most of the time and became unable to speak. I believe, like you Santie, that she was holding out to see me and for Christmas. Christmas eve was terrible, we were up all night with mum who was having shivering attacks and a fever. On Christmas morning we called an ambulance and she was taken to the Palliative care unit, we followed her in with her stuff and then went home to catch up on sleep, whilst she did the same. Visited again briefly in the evening for as long as she could stay awake and then home again for more sleep. About the worst Christmas day I could've hoped for. She had thought I was leaving on Boxing Day but I had told her I'd moved my flight to stay on as long as she needed me but I almost think she planned to hold on until I had left. I'm so glad I didn't leave though.

I've spent the last couple of weeks feeling strangely numb but that's wearing off now. It was my birthday the day before yesterday and I was so sad not to have a call from her. I keep wanting to pick up the phone to call her and then remember I can't. I think when I got back from France it all felt like a bad dream and that next time I went over there it would all be better and she would be there, but the reality is really starting to hit me now.