Christmas.

[nottingham78]

Really finding the whole Christmas thing so hard this year. Mum passed away in April. Have just sat through 2 nativity plays with MIL who is lovely but is not my mum.
Also just opened MIL's Christmas card signed love mum. So hard.
Also anxious about writing Christmas cards to family members. So hard to find the right words.
Also dreading Christmas Day as spending with MIl.
Any tips or anyone feeling the same?
Never felt this way before. Don't remember it being so tough when Dad passed away.

Oh my love, so very sorry for you. You must be feeling at this time of year, I have no experience of it and dread the day when we get to that point but just wanted to send you a big(virtual) hug. We have returned to uk after many years overseas and big part of it was so my parents werent alone and had some more time with my dd's. big kisses xx

I can empathise I'm afraid, I lost my dad at the beginning of October and it's the 5th anniversary of my mum's death the week after christmas.

It is hard.

Dd is nearly four so into christmas in a big way this year, I have no choice but to be swept along. Am also heavily pregnant so having to look at new beginnings for a new year.

Just wanted you to know that you're not alone. Tolerate christmas in whatever way works for you, if you don't want to do cards, then don't. Those you matter won't mind and those who mind don't matter.

Keep strong

Make some time for your Mum on christmas day. I lost my Dad 3 1/2 years ago and each christmas I make time to leave the bedlam and go stand outside by myself and wish him a happy christmas. This has become a ritual for me, don't force yourself to forget just find time in the day you can remember them. My DDs always go out christmas eve to see 'his star' (the brightest). This way he is part of the celebrations. There will be tears, but healing ones.
Don't try to lock it away, acknowledge it and go with it without any guilt or fear of ruining any ones day.
And know it does get less consuming each year, but the first is always so raw

I don't have any words of wisdom I'm afraid but wanted you to know you're not alone. My precious dad died 6 weeks ago and I'm not sure I can 'do' Christmas. Sending you love and strength x

My thoughts to all of you who have such recent losses.

DDad died nearly nine years ago. I can still well up at the drop of a hat (like now!), but can also remember the fun, how much he loved Christmas and also how proud he would be of his GC.

Hoping you find some comfort in the love of those sharing Christmas with you.

I'm in a similar position. I spent the first two days of this week in a blind fury that I'll be spending Christmas day with my MIL this year, but not my DM. I've got a bit of perspective finally (MIL is not perfect, but it is not her fault my DM is not here), and I'm relatively bearable to live with again. I think it is going to be a while before DH stops thinking I am a lunatic though.

No words of wisdom I'm afraid but I can empathise. My lovely brother died 7 weeks ago suddenly at just 32 and I'm also wondering how I'm going to get through Xmas. It's so hard isn't it? Seeing everybody getting excited. I used to love Xmas more than anything - just getting together with the family. We were such a tight knit family and as well as my pain, it's killing me seeing my loved ones such broken human beings.
So sad to hear of all those who have lost people. Wishing you all strength x

It is really, really hard isn't it. I've only just put up the tree tonight, when before it would have been up in Nov. I used to love Christmas, I tolerate it for others now :(