It's happened again.

[myheadisfucked]

A few years ago my eldest brother died at 39. It was a bolt from the blue and shocked every single one of us.

Now I get a call to say my other brother is dead. At 39. Not such a shock in some respects as he had been unwell his entire life. But we weren't expecting it to happen right now, today.

I have no brothers. My parents have no sons. My children have no uncles. I feel like I'm playing some sort of weird computer game.

I can't believe at just over 30 I've gone through this twice. Last time was hell on earth and now I have to face it all again.

I'm so sorry. How dreadful for you all. Sending you strength to get through the dark times ahead.

Oh my goodness, you poor thing. What a terrible shock.

Sending love and prayers your way.

I'm so sorry. That is a horrible thing to endure and then endure again. In the period of 5 years my husband lost his brother (only sibling he had) to a house fire, his mother to cancer, his favourite aunt to cancer, his cousin to Lou Gherig's disease, another cousin to cancer, his friend to suicide and his dad and stepmother's house burned to the ground. He said it comes to a point where he doesn't ever want the phone to ring again because all it brings is bad news.

Thank you for your words. MmeBucket that's one hell of a time to go through your poor husband I hope he's coming through it all ok.

It feels weird. The thing is he had caused an awful lot of bother, trouble, worry, hassle, anger, resentment et etc for my family over the years. I'd had huge issues with him over upset he caused last Christmas and to be honest I'd given up on him altogether. In some ways I feel a huge sense of relief as the constant worry he has caused my parents for 40 years can now come to an end.

When my eldest brother died, I remember my mother saying "I can't believe I'm going to outlive both of my sons".

Despite the fact we knew this was going to happen eventually (due to his physical illness) I hate the fact my parents are going through this again and I can imagine the pain my mother is feeling right now is unbearable and absolutely sure it's going to open old wounds.

To top it all off, he lived 500 miles away at the other end of the country and my parents have decided this is where the funeral should be. They plan on driving there and back this week, arranging the funeral, then driving there and back again next week once the funeral is organised, it's going to take so much out of them. But they're also talking about dragging it on into December. We had 2 weeks of this when my eldest brother died. (One side of Christian culture I do particularly dislike is how it can take us days and days to bury our dead!) I have 3 DC all 6 and under and I just don't know quite how or what or when to tell them. My oldest DS was just a baby when my other brother died so we didn't have to worry about that then, but they definitely won't be going to the funeral as they're far too young.

I know I'm blabbering on, it's all such a hideous, horrible mess. I haven't even cried. I obviously either don't care of have an off switch. Probably both and none of the above.

Of course you care dear OP or you wouldn't be feeling this pain & confusion.

It's a horrible, horrible time & you just have to do whatever you need to, to help you face the next few weeks.

Sympathies to you & your family.

Oops sorry ....meant to say next few weeks & beyond not suggesting it gets suddenly easier

I'm so so sorry OP. My heart goes out to you. I've just lost my bro suddenly - for it to happen to you twice is beyond cruel. Sending you all the love and strength in the world x