What do I say to my best friend after her awful news?

[mummytowillow]

My best friend has just found out her husband who is only 44 has terminal, aggressive cancer

I've spoken to her yesterday and they found out the final results today, she is being very hostile and angry with people (which I totally understand). But what do you say to someone who has received this news?

We don't live near each other so I can't even give her a hug

I can't begin to imagine what they are both going through.

I would phone this weekend. There is not much you can say to make things better but I think she needs to know you are thinking of her and you will be there.

You are her best mate - you will know what to say when the pair of you start talking. She is going to obviously have a huge range of emotions and she will need somewhere to release them.

Send her cards just so she's reminded that you are there and thinking of her.

Just that you are always there for her. That she can rant and be upset and that you will hold her hand (even virtually).

I'm really sorry, he's very young. I agree with the others that it's really about making sure that she knows you're there to rant or cry to. There's nothing you can actually say to make it better.

Agree with the above. And keep coming back, even if she gives you a mouthful. Don't take it personally.

What chickens said. Very sad.

All you can do is keep contact with her but I think you have to realise and accept that she will be all over the place emotionally so one day may cry and accept your support and kind words, yet other days may be quite cross or very 'stiff upper lip /I can cope'. Just don't take offence and continue to be there when she needs you.

I know someone whose husband (around the same age) has terminal cancer and currently , some days, she is going out of her way to avoid people and is turning down offers of help etc yet everyone feels that she desperately needs it as she is running herself into the ground. All her friends can do is just wait for her to be ready and hope that she starts accepting support again asap (she had used offers of help before but seems to be going through a different phase at the moment)