Angry and upset.

[toptramp]

I feel very emotional today. Mum dies 4 months ago from cancer; she was 58. We went to visit her mum in her old hometown today and so many wonderful memories came back. I couldn't stop crying.
People say their parents were only 65 0o even 75 when they died but mum was only 58. It's crap at any age isn't it but she sould be watching her granddaughter grow up. I'm so angry she went so young. I'm so angry and I don't believe in God anymore. Not a nice God anyway.

I can't say much as it's still to raw and I can't deal with it, but my Dad lost his battle with cancer at the end of August and he was young, like your Mum, only 55 :(

It's totally horrible and unfair.........just wanted you to know you're not alone x

I'm very sorry about your mum :( (and you your dad annafalatic)

It is bloody unfair that so many people lose their lives to cancer.

I'm really sorry :(

It is really hard to do things like that... but I hope your Gran really appreciated seeing you.

58 is very young & you are right, she should be here seeing her grandaughter growing up.

Many of us, unfortunately, know exactly where you are coming from :(

It's only natural to be angry.

Lots of love.

It's such early days for you both - so sorry that you lost your wonderful parents toptramp and Anna. I found in the early days that there were several occasions where I completely lost it - and that's ok, part of the grieving process. Just unfortunate that in my case I spent the whole of my brother's wedding day in floods of tears!

So sorry about your Mum, toptramp. The anger is a normal part of the grieving, particularly when people are taken from us when they had so much more to give. Cancer is a horrible disease.

My baby dd died this month and I remember being very angry the day of her funeral when MIL said that God had a plan and we weren't to know what it was. I felt like screaming at her what effing plan takes a baby away from her mother!
But after thinking about it for a while, I have told myself ( whether it's true or not) that my dd was extra special and didn't need much time on earth to get her "wings" because she inspired a lot of love in a lot of people. Maybe your Mum was the same? Not that it's helpful when we have to do without them! And I'm sure your Mum is still watching over your daughter even if you can't see her.

Hi all. Hi chipmonkey. It is really awful when babies and children die. I giuess deep down I do have a spiritual belief that this earth is only one of the dimensions on which we exist and when we die we move onto other realities.
The day before mum died she kept saying "I want to go home" and "theyre coming to get me". At first we thought it was teh morphine but after talking to and end of life councellor we realised that it was an end of life experience and that mum was talking about her diseased ancestors who were waiting for her. The fact that she felt that dying was like going home was hugely comforting.

It is such early days for you and your feelings are totally normal if that is any comfort.

My Dad was only 57 when he died. Its just not fair is it?

I lost my DD to cancer. I fucking hate cancer.

I am so pleased that you have found some comfort in the idea of your mum 'going home' . This will help in the days and weeks to come.

Give yourself time and be nice to yourself x

My Dad was 62 when he died but such a hard worker and so full of life. He was involved in loads of different organisations, was very clever, talented and funny. I remember at the time feeling angry when I would meet people who were chancers and dossers and wondering why they got to live but my Dad didn't. In retrospect, it was a terrible way to think, as who am I to judge anyone?
But grief does that to you.
As the lovely MrsDeV says, be kind to yourself. With time, it will get easier.

Hi chip. I feel like that too about dossers etc. Horrid isn't it? But i think it just heightens the awareness of the unfairness of life; and death.

Oh, I think I have given up on any notion of life being fair! But have decided to be as fair as possible myself to everybody so at least can't be accused of contributing to the unfairness.