Hope I finally landed on the right topic. Never really been much of a poster on any forums but I just feel I have to share.
I feel so lost and I hate seeing babies at the moment because it just don't seem fair that life goes on and our life has stopped.
My Partner and I recently lost our lovely little boy Charlie (29th sep). Completely out of the blue and no explanation. He was healthy and just a happy little boy. Just angry, lost and worried about my partner.
I have a very positive nature and I always say to my partner "don't worry I will fix it" But this I just can not fix! And that is so frustrating.
My partner blames herself and I am so worried and afraid about the future. We wan't to have another child asap but is this the solution? Should we wait?
I am looking for a "12 step programme" as to how to learn how to live with this. But everyone says there is no programme it just takes time.
I have always been a great believer in math and every time my partner has been worried I have always said "this will not happen" the odds of it happening are so small. So what can I say to my partner now? It happened!
Will I ever learn to live with this? Once you have carried your baby's coffin something dies inside of you.
Sorry for everyone that has lost it is the worst thing that can ever happen.
I have decided that I want to dedicate half of my working life to help prevent this from happening again, and I will let you know once I get it all sorted.
Have a look at the video of my little boy he was just amazing and we just miss him so much
www.justgiving.com/CharlieLauenborgWatkins
Love you always
Daddy x x