On this day 2yrs ago DD died....

[finefatmama]

.., i lost my job, dh turned nasty as he was having an affair and my world fell apart.

I think i've managed to work through most issues and now have a very healthy son but christmas was no fun and i am so down right now.

THE SUN WILL COME OUT TOMORROW! ...(i hope)

It will always be difficult I'm sure but keep doing as you're doing and take one day at a time. Take care.

sounds harsh, ffm. Glad you've found ways to move forward.

i had a miscarrage on christmas eve 1999 and this year when dd was opening her presents i was sitting thinking there should be 2. hope things get better for u. i just look at dd and think im so lucky to have her. hugs x

finefatmama - be strong, your beautiful healthy son will ensure this. you have battled these two years after such horriffic events, so i know by that you are strong. the sun will come out tomorrow and in the mean time the night before that sun comes out there will always be a star looking down on you and your son, it will be your guardian angel dd.
my thoughts are with you love xxxx

Thank you so much.

We're off to brighton to visit the grave today. Finally got her a headstone with her little brothers name on it.

it will be an emotional day honey. take comfort in your lovely ds. come back and talk if you need to, it helps sometimes to just get it all off your chest rather than bottle it up. will be thinking of you today sweetheart.x

So sorry for you. I hope your visit wasnt too upsetting. I remember the day when I went to the cemetery, I just felt the need to go. A van turned up and it was the stonemasons with Matthews headstone, we didnt even know it was ready. I just sat there, like I was paralysed, watched them put it in place, then leave. I finally got up and went and knelt by it and it just shook me, to see his name there, it made it so final and I hated it, and wanted to rub and rub his name out. Eleven years later and I still find it so hard, his beautiful name, carved in stone, long before his time. So I hope you are ok, its such a difficult thing to face. I am to be buried with Matthew, so its strange also to know already what my headstone looks like, but that I find comforting.

Thank you Puff
xx

I can never find the words on these threads because I don't have any personal experience. There can be nothing more difficult than losing one's child.

So sorry xxx

It's just unreal to see you childs name on a headstone. We are waiting for the call to say our daughters headstone is ready and i know this will be another very emotional day.

Our christmas was awefull too, our first without Dd, we spent the day visiting her grave and crying with our family, our lives shattered.

Love and sunny tomorrows for every parent who is going through this lifetime of pain. xxxx

I have just spent my evening with my SIL. Their son was a stillbirth and is buried in the graveyard near their home. Today they attened a service in his memory. He would be 14. Nathan.

She had a poem up in her kitchen and I now wish I had asked her for a copy of it, I know I wept reading it, it was named "Christmas in heaven".

I have found a copy of it

I see the countless Christmas trees
around the world below,
with tiny lights like heavens stars
reflecting on the snow.

The sight is so spectacular,
please wipe away the tear
For I am spending Christmas
with Jesus this year

I hear the many Christmas songs
that people hold so dear
But the sounds of music can't compare
with the Christmas choir up here

I have no words to tell you,
the joy their voices bring,
For it is beyond description,
to hear the angels sing

I know how much you miss me
I see the pain inside your heart
but I am not so far away
We really aren't apart.

So be happy for me dear ones,
You know I hold you dear,
and be glad I'm spending Christmas
with Jesus this year.

I sent you a special gift,
from my heavenly home above
I sent you each a memory
of my undying love

After all love is a gift more
precious than pure gold
It was always most important
in the stories Jesus told.

Please love and keep each other,
as my father said to do
For I can't count the blessings or love
he has for each of you.

So have a Merry Christmas and
wipe away that tear
Remember I'm spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.

ff2 - thats so beautiful
triplets - omg. i am so so sorry, i dont know what to say, i am sitting here with tears running down my face and i'm just so sorry honey xx

Hello everyone,
Firefly the poem is lovely, I understand what its trying to say , but..........I want him here, not in Heaven, too soon, its such an on going pain that we parents live with. Amyjade, I am thinking of you, its a very very hard thing to see for the first time, I found it literally shocking. The only thing that never changes is our love for our children, it is the one thing that can never be taken away from us, whether they choose to live away from home, choose to fall out with us, if they leave us forever to live in Heaven, the love is always there, and the eternal hope of being together again one day.

Just a little post to say, so sorry for what you have been through, have lost a baby through ectopic pregnancy myself. Dont think the pain will ever go, just get easier to deal with, that said have been crying and sharing in your pain while reading this thread. May god give us peace, patience and understanding, so that we can use our experiences to help others.